话说冬天

很久没有写部落格了，看来，感性的文字好像随着冬天的降临，冻结了。

还有那短短的四天，就要和2010年说再见了。时间，在不经意间，过得特别快。惊喜之余，还多了份感慨。

缅怀和展望，每一年的年终都必须要做的，原来的目的是为了看自己做了多少，和还有多少还没有做。

现在，却像是因为所有人做，所以你觉得不能落人后而做。一切都那么的流行化。

一年里面，蓦然回首，原来，得与失，是那么的靠近。不再执著，凭着平常心看待事物，或许，还会有另一番体验。

踏入大二，很多时候，更了解放下过去，把握现在，珍惜未来背后的意义。

冬天，一个寒冷的季节，领悟到原来温暖是多么的重要。

释怀

终于，来到了即将结束的学期。我除了叹口气，也真不懂如何表达那感慨。

很不容易的，那重担被提走了。

三个星期的假期，不长，亦不短。要休息，也要玩。看起来，这间学校，似乎习惯忙太多，休息太少。等到假期来时，也不知道该如何休息了。

有时候，生活经验，的确是个很好的老师。

我真的希望，耐心的等待，是成功的前奏。

Violet Heart

[Violet Heart]- lexham gardens, london

Sometimes, we care too much in painting our life with the right tone of colour; so much so that we tend to forget how beautiful it is when the colour is natural.

Flying away Thoughts

Waking up in a lazy weekend, you just feel like getting back into your duvet again, the moment you barely step out from your bed.

The sun shines through your window, amidst the cold weather. This is something that you wouldn't expect, but would look forward to.

The rays seem to surround you with hopes, reminding you that life can be as beautiful as you want it to be, if you let it be.

Sometimes, we tend to forget, the best dream in life, is to think that you are able to keep you dream alive.

There's a quote which I read on a blog,

“Everyone wants stuff. We wake up everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true. But just because we want them doesn’t mean we need them to be happy.”

雪@周末

最近的生活，都没什么精彩。

都是赶着来过日子。星期一望星期三，星期三望星期五，然后周末。周而复始，没有停过。

雪白色的伦敦，冻了我们，却也温了我们。

那是一份感动。感动着，原来美好的事物，很多时候，是顺其自然的。

简单一点来说，就是，很多东西，都有自己的时钟。我是跟着地球的运转，而其他的呢，我不知道，也许是缘分的时钟吧。

雪叶纷飞，停落在身上，仰望一下，好像有无数的祝福，正飘落。

Winter Fable

It was snowing. The chilly weather was making him sick. He walked as fast as possible to avoid being outside for long.

And, he tripped. Only then, he realized that, when the town was blanketed with the white fluffy snow, it could be so amazingly beautiful.

He forgot to appreciate it while he was cursing.

Sometimes, when you walk too fast in life, you forget that the best moment in life can be just right beside you.

雪花

终于下起了雪花。寒冷的冬天，似乎，因雪花而变得有所期待。

飘落的雪瓣，在肩膀上微笑。

雪中漫步，其实就是在寒冷和温暖的界限中，慢慢行走。一朵朵雪花的凋落，随风起舞。

冬天，也可以是希望的初始。

把希望之苗埋在地底，或许，当季节转换，憧憬的，也许就会发芽。

Legacy and Tradition

Attended the Pembroke College Formals at Cambridge yesterday. It was truly an eye-opener, to see how one of the world greatest education institutions practices the legacy and tradition it inherited.

-Table etiquettes are something you should not mess up with. Bread is on your left, and the water/wine is on your right.

-Stand up when someone rings the bell, to show respect to the Fellows who will sit at the High Table.

And, now I understand, what makes Cambridge, Oxford, Harvard great are not purely due to academics prowess. The tales, the legacy and the tradition are the subtle elements which empower them to become world leading institutes.

The rivalry between St.John's College and Trinity College at Cambridge, the rivalry between Oxford and Cambridge, and Harvard athletic rivalry with Yale. All these may sound unimportant, but after my second visit to Cambridge, I think all these do play a part in making a university respectable and reputable.

History guides us to know who we are, and stories make us different, unique and special. Because what makes a person great is not where did he get to, is how did he get it.

Silence

Silence creeps into the mind, as I begin to type this post. It has been quite a while since I can really bring peace into my heart.

Your thoughts go wild, yet your emotions stagnate.

Thought of sharing a line with my readers,

"Embrace and respect your shadows, for only then you will understand why silhouette is magnificent. Only when you have accepted your own weakness, you will be able to face the challenges with hope."

Gloomy@London

Looking up into the sky, it reflects the gloominess in your eyes.

Saturday Night Thoughts

It is a lazy Saturday, and the day greeted me with a foggy morning and a chilly nightfall.

I have always been wondering, what if time passes slower?

It has been one and a half month in the UK, halfway through Autumn Term, and it's about to end in 3-4 weeks time.

And, I questioned myself, how have I spent my time here so far?

There was once, someone told me about this.

"You stand below a big tree. Close your eyes. Wait for the leaves to fall. Breath in and smell the fragrance of autumn."

Group projects, essays, homeworks are things that contribute to your future. Therefore, we tend to ignore those that are happening now.

Time is gold, that's what people said, because you cant buy the minutes that you lost. So, if we always live in the future, can we have the present, once again?

早晨

满城都是雾，清晨的空气，也特别模糊不清。

越是模糊，越想揭破。

清新的清晰，也不知道，会不会在这个冬天里冒现。

大道上，慢慢从少人，变成多人；慢慢从多人，变回少人。

其实，我也好奇，这样的早晨，会不会让人遐想？

或许，看不见的东西，更能够驱使你去看见。

说些

有时候，怀疑自己，是否把事情，分析地太过深入。

深入地让自己窒息。

寒冷的天气，让人怀念温暖的初夏。也许，我们都是矛盾的。当你手中握不住，你才觉得珍贵。

踱步间，你想起很多东西。有些是过往的经验，有些是未来的幻想，有些也是现在的问题。

所听得歌曲，也随着季节的转换，而变得不一样。

朋友说，应该是心情的转换吧。

很多时候，我还是比较容易分析别人的事物，而自己的事情，则钻进牛角尖里，逃不出来。

谈起

那天，朋友说，

“有些东西，就是那么的不公平”。

其实，我想说，有心栽花花不发，无心插柳柳成荫。最好的，或许并不是你一直渴求的；也许最好的是最适合，最自然发生的。

塞翁失马，焉知非福。这，并不是个傻乎乎的人，表现得太过乐观；而是，明白到有些东西，的确不是由你来掌控。

就好比，有时候，漂流在缓缓的河畔，等待日出的感动，也总好过，一直去追那不等你的飞机。

时间，是最好的老师。它让你了解到，安静的幸福，就像走路也会开心一样。

星期日

一个无所事事的星期日。

记载了一个星期的压力和课业，这一天，是时候，好好休养一下。

突然想到两个优美词句。

“冬天，是个既悲观，又没什么耐心的画家。因为，他每天都很早为天空，涂下黑色的颜料。”

“冬天，倘若他是个魔术师，他最擅长的就是利用黑布，把太阳变走。”

Sweetness of Doing Nothing

It's a beautiful Saturday morning. A glint of sunlight shines through the curtains and gently opens my eyes to a brand new day.

Nothing beats nothing. After a whole week of hell, what you wish for is probably just a time for rejuvenation.

I watched Eat.Pray.Love with a group of friends yesterday. And, there was this line, which caught my attention.

"Sweetness of Doing Nothing".

Somehow when the pace is too fast, you will only keep moving with the crowd, as you will not have the time to stop for while and think.

Just imagine that you are in a tube station at 6pm. Peak hours, people moving around, you will only get pushed around.

Same goes with my life here.

When I watched the movie, I recalled how I made the decision to go to Prague myself.

From booking flight tickets, arranging flight back to Malaysia, seeing what to be kept in the storage and what to be brought back, to handling delays in flights, sleeping in the airports, roaming around London from 6am to 8am.

Getting out from the comfort zone, that's what everyone says, but not everyone does.

Meeting up with people who are not within your normal reach, is thing that you ought to do once in a while. No great sparks will appear if you keep running on the same path.

I have never planned to go. All the decisions are made spontaneously. I decided to put my trust on my courage and guts.

Do you actually realise that, sometimes, (especially my friends in Imperial), when you have so got used to doing so much courseworks, tutorials and problem sheets, you will feel an awkward air of emptiness lingering around you if you happen to be free?

Stroll in the park. Laugh with friends. Sip a coffee.

You will probably find out that,

Life can be sweet, when you do nothing.

双重

朋友说，

“写作的你，和说话的你，是很不一样的人。”

当然，我也认同。因为，从很久以前，我就知道，我生活在冷静和疯狂的界线。

每个人，都会有自己抒发思绪、感觉的模式。而，似乎注定了，我要用文字来书写。

或许，人家会说，这是虚伪的。

但是，我只能说，我不擅长把里面的东西，放出来。

大二了，可喜的是，更能够放开心胸，对很多东西，都不再那么执著。

定下目标，全力以赴，输赢，已经是其次了。

宛如一个刚被裁退的员工一样，霎时间，失去了方向。原本，很想马上寻找回心中的指南针，可是，想了想，其实，给自己一些时间去思考未来的走向，也未尝不是件好事。

暑假工 （summer internships) 已经静悄悄地爬进了我们的谈话内容。

这，也说明了，年少的日子，会慢慢消失，甚至，连衣袖也不需要挥就走了。

原来，大二，才迈入第二个月。

的确想得太多了。

定时书写部落格，并不是要吸引目光。只不过是在紧凑的日子里，尽量提醒自己，要不时沉淀自己的思绪。

Happie Halo-win!

Pumpkin-carving. First time I did it on the Halloween Day, in London.

It was so amazing and funny. (Especially when one of my housemates put a plastic bag in and created a ":P" face for the pumpkin. )

And, it was also my first time, being drawn as a cat.

Small things like these lighted up your weekend.

Perhaps, sometimes, it's good to get relaxed and lean back.

When one thing ends, maybe it's ok to take some time to rest, so that you will be able to re-position yourself on which path you would like to walk on.

Happy Halloween! =)

那么的一天

有时候，这，就是那么的一天。

就是因为无法写得长篇大论，所以选择安静。

在现实里，能力，或许只是一个不是很起眼的角色，当他被放在人脉的隔壁。

是时候，走开了。或许，这样，对整个环境，都会比较好。

Thoughts.

The weather is getting colder, even on a sunny day.

October is about to end soon, while at the same time many have turned into 20.

And, today, it's the Graduation Day.

They have studied here for 3-4 years and now they left. I wondered how they feel, at the moment when they step out of this university.

Now, I am in the second year.

A year has passed, and now, I have 2 more years to go.

Everyday, I will walk through the Falmouth Gate. And, every single day, it reminds me of how I get into here, and how to get out from here.

While I was thinking, a gentle breeze kissed the tree, and the maples leaves fell into the arms of the girl in front of me.

Life is what beyond Falmouth Gate. Life is wonderful when you stop by to enjoy.

New term. New breath.

#Rule 1: If you abandoned your blog for more than 2 weeks, that can only mean one thing: your life is dry.

Term has just started. Stepping into Year 2 of EEE, looking at the 1st year juniors, they are so worried. They get panicked. They borrow logbooks from us.

Some of them even foresee themselves to fail the year on the very first day of lecture.

Everything is so familiar. I can see myself in their eyes.

Things that cant beat you down, will only make you stronger.

I cant believe I told them that as the term goes by, more and more surprising, new. and unexpected tasks will be waiting for them. And, if you dont understand a thing in the lecture halls, it's completely normal.

In a year's time, I have learnt to see things from a more positive perspective. The lecturers just throw everything and you will try your best to pick up as much as possible. Those that you cant pick up now, doesnt mean that you cant pick up later.

In this university, aptitude and diligence are the two main qualities that separate one from another. And, you clearly know that which can be worked on.

Calm sea never makes strong sailors. I totally agree with it. However, it doesnt harm if you choose to rest at the harbour, after a long and treacherous ride on the waves. =)

"Luck doesnt travel in hopes; luck travels through endless nights of persistence."

离乡大马人·畅谈一二事

批判，是我们共同认识的第一个字眼。因为，这里有太多的人事物，都不合常理。

所以，很早以前，忘了是什么时候，我们竟然怀疑到，怀疑自己的质疑，是否正确。

这个夏季，过得特别的奇异。怎么说呢? 就像你刚回来时，朋友都还在读书，你说时间真是难过；就像你看着要回英国时日越近时，你说时间还过得真快。

这一次回来，是一个毫无计划的假期。纯粹是要让自己的内心，沉淀一下，在外国的所见所闻。

与友人谈话间，发现自己讲话，矛盾到自己也解释不了。

一方面，大赞国外的生活；一方面却缅怀这里的的生活。

曾经，当人家问及，读完书你要不要回来，两年前，出国意志坚定，拍着胸膛说，呵呵看着办吧。至少，外国是多么的优秀，多么的具有竞争力。

其实，心里清楚知道，这里有太多的东西，放不下。

对我而言，我是可以习惯英国那绅士淑女型的生活。生活里，说话间，免不了就多了很多婉转的措辞，和停顿的时刻。

eg："Oh, well. Erm, I thought..." , "Yea, great. That's so cool dude!", "Perhaps, this is.." ,"Erm..I am afraid that.."

说起来，都要等好几秒，才能进入正题。碍于礼貌，这是学习他人文化时，需要有的耐心。

朋友说，“做么讲话像便秘酱的。”-_-

那比喻，贴切的那么搞笑。

浪漫批判歌手陈昇说过一句，“这城市的人，讲话就这调调，什么都懂一点，也什么都不懂，很想负起些责任，却什么也负不起。”

这，不就是我们时常在mamak里看到的场景吗？

有时候，当你听到崇洋份子以那半咸不淡的British Slang，与你谈话时，你不禁在想，到底是自己学不来，高攀不起上流，抑或是，不习惯那在画廊里，微点头，然后流连于高贵的泡沫里的生活。

或许，这是文化冲击所带来的思考。

因此，有的选择的话，我会选择大马的生活。或许，骨子里的血，已经对这里不规则的文化，产生一种身份的认知。

粗俗中，带有幽默；吵闹中，带有温馨；冷漠中，带着含蓄；平凡中，带着另类。

尘封的

如果你也听说，夜幕低垂时，是最安静的时候，也是最美丽的时候。

倚在窗边，层层回忆，慢慢翻开，慢慢发狂似的呐喊。

茫茫人海中，我躲进自己里。

驾着车子，独自在晚上的大道上驰骋。收音机，播放着旋律优美的曲子，却很悲的歌词。

墙壁上的帖子，光鲜的外表，撕开来看原来里面是玻璃碎片。

每一回，我都不敢直视。逃跑了很久，脚也很酸。

很想去明白为什么那么痛，却怕自己承受不了。

很担心，当有一天，面对面时，我会站在那边，不出声地流下眼泪。

人文科系的好玩之处

中学时，个人认为，我花了很多时间，去背一大堆我并不是很感兴趣的宗教。世界各地的历史与文化，政治学的各类主义，生活美学，却甚少读到。

与友人谈及明年的人文科-政治学时，发现外国所给予的题目，与本地的历史题目，实在是相差太远了。

譬如：“请比较一下美国与法国的革命，并写出它们之间的相似与不同之处，再分析一下到底这两个革命是被什么主义所影响，继而写出它们的利与弊。”

第一个反应，竟然是反应不过来。咋舌之余，还冒了一脸冷汗。

当中的多元思考，也不必多说。

创意，很多时候，是不经意被发现的，而不是刻意去想它的。

就好像这个夏季，就在没有精心安排下，去看了很多不是我正修读的科系的东西。

看着某部港剧，了解到原来鉴识科学 （Forensic Science）里有一个很有趣的定律-罗卡定律(Locard's Theory)。

这就是名句 “凡走过，必留下痕迹”的最佳写照。这项定律，也被广泛地用在犯罪研究学（Crime Investigation）里。

也触摸到经济学里一个蛮特别的理论。 博弈论-Game Theory。这说明了人类所作的决定，会因别人的决定而受影响。这理论，有个很有趣的案例-囚犯的困惑 (Prisoner's Dilemma)。此外，还被引用于很多领域如数学，生物，甚至是政治学。

政治学里的"零和游戏" ( zero-sum game), 也从这里引申出来。即，两个正大战的人物，只有一个会生存的道理。

文学范围呢，我们也可看看台湾作家的文章，当中也不乏很多具批判性的。陶杰、龙应台、李敖等写的东西，都可以让我们看见一些平时所忽略的盲点。还有一位旅美作家，欧阳文风，也写得蛮不错；若有时间的话，看一看梁文道先生所写的东西，相信也会有另一番体验。

修读太多关于科技的东西，有时候，会忘记人文科系所能够看到的不一样。

若不了解人文与社会现象，的确会让修读科技的我们，陷入牛角尖里。角度的差异，有时会激发具有前瞻性的构思。

对话

“是时候，该回去了”。

朋友如此地说。

“时间过得真快啊！”我那样的说。

彼此，默默不语了好几分钟。望着mamak店外面的人潮，慢慢增加了。

看看手表，夜已深了。

“你，在英国还好吗？” 安静了好几分钟，朋友开口了。

“哦，蛮不错的。那里什么都好，就是课业，难了些。”

“浸过咸水，果然不一样。说话，也不同了。”

“有吗？” 我疑惑地问。

朋友没答。空气里又多了几分尴尬的寂静。

“你回去时，是秋季了吧？” 朋友又再次开口了。

“嗯。”

“有否枫叶满地，浪漫上心头的感觉呢？” 朋友好奇地问。

“那里的秋，整天都在下雨。麻烦得很。”

彼此，笑了笑。

那笑，有点儿做作，好像是为不好意思的不舍披上一个糖衣。

慢慢的，人潮也开始散去了。荧幕上的球赛，也踢完了。

别人仍然高谈阔论，三字经满口。我们这里，却似乎无声胜有声。

安静，有时候比吵闹，更有力度。

“bang! bayar."

剩下的是，两个人不舍的对话。

一个习惯。一个地方。一个回忆。

原来的中秋节

中秋节，给你什么印象？

玉兔、嫦娥、后羿？还是 菱角、月饼、柚子？

读过的日子由来，不是凄美的嫦娥奔月，就是爱国的抗元故事。

以前，我们会觉得这些故事异常美丽，因为意义的存在，衬托着中秋的气氛。现在，我们想到的是，这个日子，我们与谁在庆祝；这个日子，我们在哪里庆祝。

不错不错，童话始终是童话。实质的意义才是重要的，原来我们都已长大了。

有些在异乡，有些可能在飞机上，有些可能忙着收拾行李，有些可能无所事事在家里。

但是，大家都因月圆而感动。不同的地方看到月亮，或许感触也会不一样。

或许，月圆，更能够让人感到寂寞。很简单，你出去走走，看看邻家的小孩在提灯笼、点蜡烛时，你就明白了。

世界上有一些东西，是不会回头。时间，心境 和对的人。

原来，中秋节，是一个如此浪漫的季节。

月圆之夜，夜里放晴，照亮着彼此的心。他把双手合十，对着夜空祈祷：

“这个时候，你是否在远方，一起看着同样的月圆呢？”

梦想的呼唤- 关于 Step Up 3

梦想，可以很大，也可以很小。

还记得，很久以前，有位朋友告诉过我，他要当一位导演。更艺术的一种说法是，当一位电影制作人。

看了 Step Up 3 后，才发现，里头有一句话，蛮老套，但也很受用。

“重要的是，当中的过程。”

这套戏，除了其非常精彩的舞步外，最好看的部分是当男主角，Luke 去访问那些舞蹈者，对舞蹈的看法。

再好看的舞蹈，也要有那意义的存在。否则，就只剩躯体的动作，而失去了灵魂的衬托。

理想，不需要为了面对真实世界，而完全摒弃。依然可以把它搁在一旁，又或者一边学习，一边维持对那爱好的热忱。

或许，太过戏剧化，太过理想化。乌托邦式的梦想，始终是21岁前的玩意儿。

很小的时候，老师已经灌输我们，梦想是成为一名专业人士。不断的修改，也只是从医生，变成会计师。或者，从太空人，变成一名商人。

当暑假即将结束，感触也似乎特别深。

还记得，当初有位朋友，没想过会因写作而结缘。希望他能在台湾创出一番事业，在文学领域一展宏图。

写作，一个集孤独和爆发力的活动。安静，却又吵闹。因思绪的冲击而难以抑制。有想过写词，毕竟，尝试，是肯定的前奏。

失败的话，就拍拍胸膛说，“不好意思，我真的不好。” 能够在理想面前认输，是多么的灿烂，多么的夺目。

其实，每个人，都是自己生命的工程师。

偶尔走着走着，回头看一下，这些年来，我做过了什么。照着镜子，我，真的能够认得自己吗？

或许，我们，又会有一种不一样的体验。

雅虎(Yahoo) 去了哪里？- Where is Yahoo?

从《星洲财经》里读到一句话，觉得非常残酷，但很真实。

“比被人议论纷纷更为糟糕的是，已经没人再讨论。”

这，就是今时今日，雅虎的下场。不论是IT业界的精英，还是菜市场的阿婶，都大谈Apple, i产品了。

电话巨擘，诺基亚(Nokia)也于近日，换上了其CEO，改由加拿大人，Stephen Elop 领导该企业。这举动，并不是当Nokia面临破产时才做的决定。这是，当Nokia 依然是世界最大电话制造商时，所做的决定。

根据Gartner的资料显示，2010年第二季的销售百分比来看，Nokia的Symbian OS 以41%引领整个智能电话市场，而市场占有率较大的分别有RIM(18%)，Android(17%)，Apple(14%)。而RIM则是制造著名Blackberry的商家。

这是电话市场的竞争。

看看浏览界面(web browser)的竞争又如何。

随着Google Chrome 7.0 的冒现，已经把Mozilla Firefox，Internet Explorer , Safari, 和 Opera等比下去了。而犹记得当年叱咤风云的Netscape Navigator，现在也少有听闻了。8个小时前，Microsoft已宣布要研发出IE9，以给予用户全新的浏览体验。

而在电脑晶片(processor)的竞争里，当Intel于1971年研发出世界第一枚(Intel 4004)后，各公司也竞相发展出越来越快的晶片，如IBM，AMD，Hewlett-Packard(HP)等。现在，世界运算最快的超级电脑(supercomputer)是由CrayJaguar制造。

况且，最近也有消息指出，随着云端计算(cloud computing)的普遍性越来越高，Microsoft 也不得不想尽办法，以对抗用户日益增多的Google docs.

何谓cloud computing? 这里有个由MIT 教授 Prof. Srini Davadas 给于的例子。

“在未来10年里，若有一天，你在亚玛逊森林里被不知名的昆虫咬伤，你只要用相机拍下来然后放上某个医药联系库，马上会得到世界各地的专业医生协助，在30秒内，让你得到最有可能的医疗方法。”

随着科技的发展，世界经济版图也会随着移动。一个国家的GDP，也无可否认地，被科技所带领。更甚的是，随着最近印尼和阿拉伯一些国家对于blackberry电话的表态，可看出，科技的发展，也将影响一个国家的政治走向。

发展，带来惊喜；也带来恐惧。

关于思维-About mindsets

Edward de Bono一书里提到，关于批判思维的谜思。

批判思维，在英语里，就是所谓的"Critical Thinking"。相信在小学时期的我们，都已听过此名词。若无，那也应该听过KBKK吧？

他提到，批判，就是对观点，思考方案，又或者解决办法，都产生质疑，进而找出弱点，反驳整个观点。

当然，对在填鸭式教育下成长的我们来说，这训练，是有必要的。

可是，深入地思考一下，单单是以质疑来思考的话，会有一些危险性。举个例子，若一个解决方案，代表着100%，或许90%都是良好的，只有10%是不好的，那批判思考，就会启动，让你去寻找当中的10%，然后扩大，以说服大部分人，此观点是不好的。

当然，这理论，有其好玩之处。就像Inception这部电影，之所以广受欢迎，那是因为它挑战你的逻辑思考，多层次的梦境，更让你迷失在你自己的分析能力里。

原来，学习如何思考，也是一门大学问。

或许

时间，过得真快。没想到，剩下在大马的日子，也不是很多了。

或许，是错觉吧。

时间，根本就没快过。只不过是，我们花在一些琐碎的事情上，而忘记了它的流动。

或许，那些事情，一点都不琐碎。

重要的小事。

矛盾，就像反义词，贴切的不正确。或许，小学读到的磁铁，就是我们世界里的哲理。同性相斥，异性相吸。

口头上所说的不得空，其实是想把更多的空间腾出来而已。

回忆，就像你躺在床上，望着那在转动的风扇，已经不知道从哪里开始转起，却让你感到舒服。

卑微的坚持，抑或是潇洒的放弃？

原来，正面的坚持，也可以如此卑微。

而潇洒的另一面，是不是只是压抑了自己的卑微呢？放弃，又是不是，善待地折磨自己？

或许，一切都是半夜里的遐思。一个把精神推向崩溃边缘的酷刑。

A new brand

帝国理工排名下滑，原因何在？

以下言论，纯属搞笑；若有雷同，纯属巧合。

帝国理工 (Imperial College), 在2010世界大学排名里，从第5下滑至第7，而哈佛大学(Harvard University) 在稳占榜首了7年后，首次让位给剑桥大学(Cambridge)了。

当然，世界上没有永远的冠军，就好像Imperial也连续两年在排名里，输给UCL。这里，并没有影射什么，当然也不是秉着“此地无银三百两”的思维。希望大家千万不要有hard feelings。

追根究底下，到底是什么原因，导致如此的局面？

1. 长时间躲在图书馆，造成思想僵硬，人格单一。

-时常对着四角形的物体，如电脑、墙壁、书本和电板，让我们不再明白真正的科学精神，是探索，而不是啃书。

2. 性别比例严重失衡。

-非常重要的一环。相信就读生物学的朋友都知道，这将影响大学生的学习动力，严重起来，甚至会影响表达能力，思考能力及沟通能力。

3. 周围环境缺乏人和。

-由于所在位置与距离因素，和其他大学如UCL, LSE, King's 脱离了交流的机会。不但如此，被三间博物院围绕着(Natural History Museum, Victoria and Albert, Science Musuem)，这也间接把思想古老化，正确一点来说，灭掉了咱们的热情。

看来，我们还有很多的进步空间。

想着

屋子的四周，都浸在黑夜里。烦闷的内心，锁着了想出去的欲望。

踱步间，他记得，那时候的事。

八个月，迈进第九个月。时间，是过去了，却丝毫没有把那历史淡化。因为，那历史，是烙印在他的心，而非记忆。

走着，虽是一个人，却感到特别沉重。原来，是带着回忆一起步行。

可是，他也清楚知道，这，只是沉重，毕竟八个月的日子并不短，但他肯定这不是累赘。一点儿也不是。

夜风吹拂，嘴角往上扬。

那是因为，偶然之间，他想起，当她说“大英博物馆”时的表情。

可爱。滑稽。

总觉得，舞台上，不是没了谁不可以，而是少了谁，故事情节，蛮难接下去。

因为，“取代”这词，并没有出现在他的人生剧本里。

因为真，所以不曾忘记；因为记得，所以梦见。

他，安静地望向夜空，深呼吸，叹一口气，

“想给她幸福，却也把自己锁在幸福的想象里。”

就像一个被蒙着眼睛的开拓者，一直摸索，直到永远。

A gift for my blog

恶搞

Picturesque

The Dancing House- Prague, Czech Republic

Church- St Martin-in-the Fields Church, London

Converging- Millennium Bridge, London

Dreamy- Sistine Chapel, Vatican City

Dusk- Millennium Bridge, London

仰望

这夜，特别寂静。

风，在路上匍匐着，吹拂着那无所事事的双脚。

心里，看见了那久违的面孔，那熟悉的背影。原来，他不曾忘记过。

他还记得，那一夜，那寒冷的夜。虽然只有六时半，却已天黑。

寒冷的等待，却带来期待。就像冷笑话，带来温暖。

生活里的相对，却带来了意想不到的正确。

那清晰的记忆深处，像极一个被压抑着的琉璃，非常美丽，却摆脱不了那易碎的宿命。这，他知道，所以很害怕去触摸。

蓝色的忧郁，充斥着内心，散发出理智的假象。喃喃自语，也只不过在说些别人听不懂的言语，因为，他，根本就不想别人明白。

仰望着夜空，突然觉得，星星像是会发光的花儿，在天际散发出芬芳的梦。

他站起来，才发现，自己正待在回忆和梦境的灰色地带。

秋

我，梦见枫叶。

枫叶，陪伴着那感伤的泪水，在内心深处，滑落。

天空，有些阴沉，安静地诉说着那压抑的情感。才发现，原来心事重重时，一个人，会变得特别不爱说话。

后来，才知道，那人其实是在和自己的回忆谈天。

走着走着，听见一首首熟悉的曲子，我停下了脚步。

通常，当你觉得一首歌好听，你会感动，那是因为，那歌的词，是你俩曾经的对话；那歌的曲，是你回忆的旋律。

而令你感动的歌，皆逃不了凄美的结局，离幸福，总是那么的近，却又那么的远。

若有选择，我会选一个不会令我感动的歌曲，却能够抓紧幸福。

风，轻轻地飘着。

吹拂着我，不愿放弃的梦。它说，要来的，终究会来。我说，

＂梦，让我在迷失中寻找到肯定；梦，让我在回味中得到安慰。＂

风，停了。

＂风，你可以帮我吗？＂

＂尽管说说看。＂

＂帮我告诉她，我在等待着，哪里也不会去。＂

风，走了。

我，依旧站在那回忆的边缘，希望，下一次的遇见，会是我内心的喜悦。

思语

倘若音乐能够表达爱意，那文字，应该是思念的语言吧。

至少，那男孩是这么认为的。

时间，在弹指间散步，告诉他在自然界里，每一样东西，都会有自己的快慢。暗地里的拔苗助长，则会得不偿失。

他点点头，似懂非懂，思绪又再次乱飘。

犹记得，那幽暗的草丛里，突然冒起大小不一的绿光。乍眼一看，原来是萤火虫在飞舞。

瞬间的片刻感动，觉得这里，就好像有个透明的湖面，倒映着夜空里的星星。

一时之间，好像活在天与地的中间，同时俯瞰和仰望，那融化成天使的微光。

是的，没错，他是目不转睛，却是心不在焉。

偶而，他会想起螳螂与蝴蝶的爱情故事。

它的坚持，却换来一次次的不知所措。到了繁殖的季节，它告诉那雌螳螂，

＂请你在吃我前，把我的双手留下。＂
＂为何？＂
＂因为，我不知道，在某年某月某日，或许会重遇蝴蝶。那时候，若能与她相爱，纯粹想在天堂里，拥抱着她。＂

原来，在炎热的午后，他，开始了胡思乱想。

写在心情边缘

乘搭着火车去吉隆坡，似乎很久以前，还在就读Alvls时，才时常做的。

慢慢退后的美景，宛如你在生命中，遇见的人事物。就像一场盛宴，要走的，终究是会离开。

今夏看过的花朵，绽放了，明年再看回，也已经不是同一朵了。

可是，回忆依旧停格在那年的夏。只因，在那男孩的心里，那花，依然清秀。

一段回忆，原本只是一片黑与白的记录；之所以变得彩色，那是因为我们把感情绘上去了。

很多时候，就是我们注入了情感，毫不起眼的，往往是我们最疼惜的。长大后才知道，原来礼物可以是很小，却最有纪念价值。

一个人的笑容，原来是那男孩，一直想要的礼物。

很喜欢这一句话，＂当你的心，对某件事，感到确定抑或是不确定，都是坚持下去，最好的理由。＂

朋友问到：＂你确定吗？＂

我没答。只是给予淡淡的微笑。

发现原来，微笑的当儿,眼泪是流进心里的。

八月里思念五月天

静悄悄地，又到了八月。

暑假也过了一半，可喜的是在这几个星期，得到的感触，竟然比之前的９个月还多，还深刻。

犹记得，当初的一切，都是在八月份开始。然后，随着时间的流逝，回忆走上了一个bell curve。

当那一个个冷笑话，变得不在热呼呼时，剩下的只是刺心的冷漠。

现在的日子，平淡的来，懒洋洋；安静的来，无声无息。每天的思绪，都翻上筋斗，飘了个十万八千里。

日子的千篇一律，就快spot 不到任何的difference了。我还在想，到底那游戏还存在吗？

躲在旮旯处，放逐着自己。原来，有时候放开束缚，就像放开握紧的拳头，得到的或许是个很辽阔的视野。

通常，有机会下去吉隆坡时，都会在巴士上思考一些美丽的词句。这里有一个，

＂爱上你的害羞，因为那是你微笑的幸福＂

词句的魔法，需要被感动后，才能发挥。而，当我开始撰写这文章时，都是依照心中的感动，慢慢绘出来的。

但愿，总有一天，那字里行间，能够感动着她。

很久以前，有位朋友告诉过我，你不是真正的快乐。

在这闷闷的八月里，希望能够为我捎来，那躲在角落许久的音讯。

Of Colosseum and Blue Cave

It's astonishingly majestic. Standing amidst the crowd, you feel like being transported back into the glory past, where you will hear the roars of the beasts, the cries of the gladiators and the shouts of the crowds.

The amphitheatre converges your sights, but diverges your fears. The spirits, courage and thirst for victory seem to transcend time and space, amplifying the unbelievable architecture and history which have survived over the centuries.

So fascinating and impressive!

When the blue reflection and the traditional Capri song meet up, it's like a pair of couple made in heaven, marking the beginning of a mythical story- to be weaved with your magical imagination.

I saw, I gasped, and I kept quiet. A beauty which only nature can provide is definitely a miracle your eyes couldnt miss.

I admired it with my heart, and I got the best picture my mind could think of.

When I was about to leave the cave, I saw the glowing blue, that was when the sun shone into the sea. I silently made a wish-

"How I wish you were here.."

Short Note

Just completed the 20th IYLC in Prague. An exciting ride over the week, and feels great to have met up with so many students from different countries and cultures.

This is a lifetime experience which has certainly transformed me into someone who is more willing to be patient and to be able to appreciate the diversity of culture in humans.

I know a friend, who brought so many Puerto Rico candies.

I know a friend, who gave us the Lucky Chain of Guatemala.

I know a friend, who exposed me to the different English slangs in Wales, Scotland and Manchester.

I know a friend, who taught me about a new word "jancing".

I know a friend, who 'forced' me to learn "Waka-waka".

I know a friend, who knows how to dance Brazilian Samba.

I know a friend, who told me about bogan, white trash/red-neck.

I know a friend, due to her accent, pronounced bundt cake, as 'butt-cake'.

A joyous, memorable and unforgettable week, which will etched in my mind, and be remembered in my heart for eternity.

Stay tuned for more updates on the event.

Updates from Prague

Been here for 4 days. Pretty much settled down and began to mix around with the people.

Havent had much chance to tour around Prague, due to the hectic schedule of the conference. However, I sneaked out occasionally right after the session ended to snap some pictures.

The coolest part is to meet up with students from 37 countries, and you wont even expect to make friends with people from Palestine, United Arab Emirates, Iraq, Lebanon and so on.

So far, have been taking part in 3 simulations, namely UN Security Council, International Criminal Court(ICC), and European Parliament. At first I thought those will be easier than science, and now I would say, thanks God that I didnt choose law or similar courses back then.

I just felt sleepy when I was required to read up those directives, proposals and cases. ==

Went for some inspirational talks and met up with the Czech Republic Skoda Auto External Affairs Officer.

Some cool quotes to be shared.

I like stars, I like flowers;

I like rivers, I like anything to do with nature.

I like gentleness, I like courage;

I like acts which show beauty in humans.- Tim Mccartney

Why feedbacks are important?

Our eyes cant see ourselves, our own deeds. We can only see the reflections of what we have on done on others.

It's not wrong. It's just not the coat that suits me.

The strongest of man has the most vulnerable gentleness in him.

Met up with some ambassadors and diplomats. The most interesting part is when the ambassador of Israel and Palestine both see each other in a same occasion.

Went out to try some Czech beers. Tried the Pilsner Urquil. Well, quite bitter, besides that and everything is quite ok.

So far so good. And probably will provide more updates in days to come. =)

花语

爱上花朵, 不是因为她美丽, 而是因为, 花朵能够给予想念的味道; 了解到等待是痛心的美好。

手写意大利－维尼斯篇

答应过要写关于意大利的，是时候了，否则，再拖下去，就没那心情写了。

走进这座城市，有点儿像不小心掉进了时空隧道，在现在与历史之间，徘徊着，而不幸困惑了。

每一座桥，每一条小巷，甚至是每一条河道，都暗地里装载着几百年，几千年的沧桑，等待着人们去发掘。

生活步伐也特别缓慢，似乎是为了配合这里的浪漫情怀，而改变的。不知名的野花，从来都不与其他花朵争艳，却静静地，躺在小巷里展现自己的独特之处。

失去了的轻松和平静，皆能在这里寻找回来。胆敢说一句，＂这里是压力的坟墓＂。

走着走着，走到了一座教堂。带着随意之心，踏了进去。令人惊讶的是，一个个小提琴被展示着。

眼睛被锁着，再也没东张西望。心，却不在焉。思绪飞往一个脑袋不确定，但内心确定的目的地。

我低头。无语。

搭着水上德士到Murano岛，沿着周围的岛屿像守护神般，尽责地看护这海域。冷飕飕的海风，带着雨水，亲吻着我们那憔悴的脸。

哦差点忘了那皇宫！不走进去则已，一走进去，脸庞就只剩那凝固的表情，而把惊叹留下了，不断赞叹着古时候的艺术和智慧。

一幅幅画，都隐藏着那鲜为人知的过去。能够明白的，也想当然屈指可数。

霏霏细雨间，骑上了著名的Gondola。有点儿像龙舟的船，穿插着一些比较小的河道，载着我们去触摸历史的最原始。那船夫，娓娓道出这里的故事－原来维尼斯是建造在水上的城市。

每一个游客，都像从另外一个海域的鱼仔，游进了这一个世外桃源，而不禁忘记现代的世界。

我想，规划维尼斯的人，必定是个浪漫的人，又或者是维纳斯(Venus)女神所派遣的天使。

这里，会让你不自觉地忘记时间的流动。一切，皆是那么完美。

在St. Mark's Square里，让我看见什么是浪漫。在一个不知名的咖啡厅，微微细雨下，手上拿着浓厚的热巧克力，听着钢琴与小提琴的完美合奏。就这样，不慎地被幸福融化了。

当我坐上火车出发到下一站，内心深处，与维尼斯下了个约定。

永远不说再见，只因爱上了她的美丽与浪漫。

The night is Wicked!

Spell-binding! Magically awesome! Amazing plot!

-Peter Phang

Just watched this musical tonight. It's just simply beautifully wicked!

Never expected that The Wizard of Oz is her father. That was a great twist. Similar twist from the book Digital Fortress by Dan Brown. A dad who has forsaken the daughter and fate unites them in a cruel way.

I wont describe much on my blog, so that my readers will have the chance to see for themselves, how amazing the musical could be.

2 weeks in London, and they have been the Weeks of Wicked Phantom. My first musical experience wasn't that good, after watching Avenue Q. Thanks god that I have watched these 2 with proper storyline and stage effect.

Now that I have fallen in love with musicals.

Some nice lines which I still managed to recall after the show,

- Beautifully tragic and Tragically beautiful

- "You dont have what it takes, hope that you will prove me wrong. I doubt you will"

- "You are beautiful." "Don't lie." "I didn't. It's just the different way of seeing things."

- " Because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

- Truth is not what behind logics and reasoning. It is something we all agree upon.

A nicely written play which managed to earn standing ovations from the whole crowd. And, honestly, I think that Wicked truly deserved it.

Folks, just go and watch and you will know what am I trying to say.

Some nice songs to share:

Dancing through Life

For Good

I'm Not That Girl

Enjoy! =)

When London Blossoms

Flowers are purely magical. They cast the beauty in your eyes and bring out the happiness in your hearts.

They speak no words, yet you feel the graceful whispers beside your ears. They tell you how romantic is it when the world is full of flowers.

Oh, and the gentle voices are painters! They sketch the scenes in your heads and paint it with the colours of hope and desire.

Flowers are angels in disguise, spreading their wings as petals and guarding the world with the fragrance from heaven.

People once said, "Do listen to the flowers' words, for they lead you to the happiness you have been longing for."

London

If I were to personify London, she is a mysterious girl, with many characteristics yet to be discovered, intertwined perfectly with the past and future, attracting you with her charms and passions.

Phantom of the Opera

It's just simply awesome! The performance is stunning, thrilling and fulfilling! Indescribable!

- Peter Phang

How I wish that I will have the chance to watch this musical while studying the same literature component back in form 2.

We were not taught to admire the storyline, instead we just memorised the theme, values and characteristics of the characters in the novel.

We were not taught to feel the emotions of the characters. All we had to do is to follow the marking schemes, strictly.

Nevertheless, after 7 years, got back in touch with the storyline via this musical has given me an opportunity to enjoy the show from a different perspective.

The saddest part is when Christine chose to kiss the phantom to save her beloved, Raoul. The power of love is so strong, until Christine is willing to choose the guy whom she is unwilling to marry with, to save Raoul.

I fell in love with the two songs in this musical.

Think of me

Phantom of the Opera theme song

Highly recommended! =)

Memory

I am currently using a Netbook.

It reminds me of a friend, who said that she will get into crazy mode when she is under stress.

How I wish to find the button to restart, and not a button to reformat. A memory which does not go vague when time goes by. I dont wish to clear off the chat log. Those are etched deeply into my mind and come back to me every single day.

Can the restart button appear magically somewhere middle of this treacherous path?

憧憬

走在大道上。

在人群中看不见那所憧憬的，就只好漫无目的地走着。

呼吸间，闻到一股忧郁的气息，安静地诉说它的孤寂。

双手插进口袋里，音乐挂在耳朵两旁，尽情地享受那久违的日光浴。

发现原来，嘴巴说出来的，往往都是一个罩，遮盖着那无法言语的一切。

试，终于考完了。一个结束的开始。

但愿，能够安然无恙。

约了几位朋友，到夏季市集走走。在吵闹声中，发现原来大家都住在自己的泡泡里，在轻碰之间，交流，然后又各散东西。

朋友开始一个个回家去了，而我依旧在这里，像一个拾荒者，不断在记忆深处，挖掘回最美丽，又却最可怕的回忆。

雨

最近，英国又常下雨了。

这，令人怀疑，她是否跳过了夏天，而进入了初秋。

有人说，"雨天，是神在喜悦中哭泣，因为祂看见浪漫。"

浪漫的雨，就像水一样，灌溉着那凋谢的热情，给予你美丽的遐思。

脚，踏着那潮湿的石阶，回想起一些重要的小事。一个关于雨伞和女孩的故事。

路上行走，因为一个人而平静。纵然雨水滴滴答答，然而却无法激起任何的涟漪。

当你的心安静，它会开始偷偷和你讲悄悄话，让你了解到其实，内心的声音，才能够让你在浑浊的世界里，看见自己。

从以前的胡乱涂写，到现在用心去写。中间的体验，也让我更加相信，

"有些东西，是听心的追寻，结果并不是你得到了什么；而是你找到了什么。"

雨天，让人陶醉。

P/S: 阅读了facebook里关于五月天的故事，若有同感。虽然没有人家那么优秀，但是我深信，创作的路，是独一无二的。唯有相信自己的脚步，才能迈开下一步，一直走下去。

Sharing #1

(5)努力吧 不管成功与否 至少曾经美丽

　　漫步林间，你看见一株藤蔓附着树干，柔软与坚实相互交缠，你感动于这静美的一幕。让幸福与归属就此驻足吧。你想。不知未来会有怎样一番风雨摧折？也许藤将断、树会倒，也许天会荒，地将老。你又想。那么，请时光停格在此刻吧。停格即是永恒。永恒里若有这静美的一刻，未来可能遭遇的种种劫难，便已得到了安慰与报偿。



(6)保持单纯

　　因为思虑过多，所以你常常把你的人生复杂化了。明明是活在现在，你却总是念念不忘着过去，又忧心忡忡着未来；坚持携带着过去、未来与现在同行，你的人生当然只有一片拖泥带水。而单纯是一种恩宠状态。单纯地以皮肤感受天气的变化，单纯地以鼻腔品尝雨后的青草香，单纯地以眼睛统摄远山近景如一幅画。单纯地活在当下。而当下其实无所谓是非真假。既然没有是非，就不必思虑；没有真假，就无须念念不忘又忧心忡忡。无是非真假，不就像在做梦一样了吗?是呀，就单纯地把你的人生当成梦境去执行吧。


　　
(7)偶尔’俗气’…

　　吃多了健康食品，偶尔你也想啃一啃鸭舌头和盐酥鸡。看多了大师名剧，偶尔你也想瞄一瞄耳光摔不完眼泪掉不完的连续剧。听多了古典音乐，偶尔你也想唱一唱爱他一百年又恨他一万年的流行歌曲。你知道健康食品对健胃整肠有意义，大师名剧对培养气质有意义，古典音乐对提升性灵有意义，可是，偶尔你其实并不想让自己时时刻刻活得那么有意。人生不需要把自己绑得那么紧。偶尔的小小放纵，是道德的。灵气充满或许接近大人，但偶尔的俗气会更平易近人。



(8)控制情绪 别浪费了~

　　今天的你，是不开心的你，因为有人在言语间刺伤了你。你不喜欢吵架，所以你离开；可是你只是离开了那，却没有离开被那人伤害的情境，因此你愈想愈生气。愈有气，你就愈没有力气去理会别的事情，许多更该用心去做去想去处理的事件，就在你漫天漫地的心烦意乱之中，被轻忽被漠视被省略了。因为，你只是一心一意地在生气。在情绪上做文章，这是对自己的浪费，而且是很坏的浪费。毕竟，生气也是要花力气的，而且生气一定伤元气。所以，聪明如你，别让情绪控制了你，当你又要生气之前，不妨轻声地提醒自己一句：“别浪费了。”

　　

(9)抓住最好的时机 绝不错过

　　你曾经买了一件很喜欢的衣裳却舍不得穿，郑重地供奉在衣柜里；许久之后，当你再看见它的时候，却发现它已经过时了。所以，你就这样与它错过了。你也曾经买了一块漂亮的蛋糕却舍不得吃，郑重地供奉在冰箱里；许久之后，当你再看见它的时候，却发现它已经过期了。所以，你也这样与它错过了。没有在最喜欢的时候上身的衣裳，没有在最可口的时候品尝的蛋糕，就像没有在最想做的时候去做的事情，都是遗憾。生命也有保存期限，想做的事该趁早去做。如果你只是把你的心愿郑重地供奉在心里，却未曾去实行，那么唯一的结果，就是与它错过，一如那件过时的衣裳，一如那块过期的蛋糕。



(10)偶尔的出离轨道

　　某次你搭火车打算到A地去，中途却忽然临时起意在B地下了车。也许是别致的地名吸引了你，也许是偶然一瞥的风景触动了你，总之，你就这样改变了本来预定的行程，然后经历了一场充满惊奇的意外旅行。A地是你原先的目标，B地却让你体会了小小的冒险。回忆起来，你说，那是一次令你难忘的出轨经验。生命中的许多时候不也如此？心无旁骛地奔赴唯一的目的，不过是履行了原本的行程而已；离开预设的轨道，你才有机会发现其他的风景。


　　
(11)悄悄 悄悄地 回归平静..

　　曾经有一段时间，你心情低落，甚至懒得拉开窗帘，看着窗外的阳光。因此你当然也忘了去看看，窗台上那一盆每天都需要喝水的玛格丽特。如此不知过了多久，总算有一天，你度过了心情的低潮，同时也想起了你的玛格丽特。天啊，可怜的花，她还活着吗？你战战兢兢地拉开窗帘，却见她迎风招摇，花颜可掬。原来在过去的这段日子里，你虽然忘了喂她喝水，老天却没忘了以雨露眷顾她呢。许多事物悄悄地在你的视线之外进行，而且悄悄地安排好了它们自己。天生万物，天养万物，一切其实无须担心……你只要做的就是做好自己，不留任何遗憾…足矣。

Untitled

via thresca

看世界

照常理来说，考试时节应该是没时间书写文章的。就算有，也要假装没有，埋头于书堆中。

我想，考试总是令人沮丧。

来了这里后，才领悟到什么是，"没关系，尽了力就好"。

有时侯，当你全力以赴后，你却还要安静地低头离开。

虽然如此，这一次的考试，更重要的是，给我看见了世界。

大部分人都用眼睛看世界，而发现她的美；
小部分的人用屁股看世界，而成了跟屁虫；

可悲的是，却很少人用心去看世界。

生活中，真正重要的是，你去拼，去搏，然后就仰望天空，说

"我已经出全力了。"

成绩若好，就是你的奖赏；若不好，就再打多一次。

擦干泪水，抹掉血迹，重新出发。

在这纷纷扰扰的世界，要能够，

"寻找自己的优点，原谅自己的缺点，创造自己的特点"。

还记得，在National Service里，有位朋友说过，

"你有被人殴打过吗？当你被人殴打到，连阿妈都晤认得时，
你会想，反正都伤成这样了，大不了就进医院。但是，也要他一起进。 就这样，在不放弃中，反败为胜。"

澎湃的思绪，被释放后，是时候休息了。＝）

When summer is on the way

2nd week of exam has just passed.

The papers are hard, period. Efforts put in, yet, do not yield the results which you might have expected.

You sighed, whined and decided to get a nap.

After you woke up, you realised that, it's time to forget the papers which you can't undo, and study for the next.

Life is about looking through the windshield of your car, and not through the rear-view mirror all the time.

Read a nice quote somewhere

What's the difference between a university and a life? In university, you learnt a lesson, and you are given a test. In life, you are given a test, and you learn a lesson.


1 more week to go and I will be able to smell the fragance of freedom.

围城

城内的人想逃出来，城外的人想走进去。
或许，换个角度呼吸，心情就平伏了。

灯｜精灵

Photo taken by SiangKee Chen.

一颗颗LED灯, 跳跃着, 就像小精灵般,
透过眼睛，偷偷进入了你的心灵，给你感动的片刻。

当萤火虫碰见香草的天空

很多时候，很多东西，都不由得我们去控制。

而，随遇而安，则是最好的。

就好比说，电脑坏了。迫不得已要去hall里面的电脑室去用，就这样，阴差阳错下，认识了一位来自美国 Indiana的3rd year Material Engineer，和 一位来自西班牙Barcelona的 4th year Chemical Engineer.

在缘分的星空下，原以为不会认识任何"鬼佬"，也在这样的机缘下，遇上。

他，告诉了我 Vanilla Twilight 和 Fireflies 这两首歌。

当中的歌词，读起来舒服，想起来幸福。

在此，摘一小段分享分享.

Vanilla Twilight

The stars lean down to kiss you,
And I lie awake I miss you,
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly,
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'll send a postcard to you dear,
Cause I wish you were here.

Fireflies

You would not believe your eyes,
If ten million fireflies,
Lit up the world as I fell asleep.



香草的天空下，看着那睡着了的幸福。

寂静。寂寞的安静；心情的平静。等待。

Madonna's wisdom

I think Madonna is not just a singer. She is a philosopher too.

“To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage; because we don’t want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.”

A good quote to end a week. A good quote to begin a weekend.

Of Hurdles, Dreams, and Scribbles

First 3 papers. 3 down, 6 more to go.

The first 2 were still fine. Today is the real challenge, and I finally can see how hard a test could be.

I sighed and prayed that it will turn out well. =/

It has been a while since I last typed a post in English, for I always think that only Chinese can weave my emotion perfectly in words.

Saw a quote somewhere, "We always stare at the frame and forget about the picture."

A nice one, indeed, especially at this moment. I just know that after the finals, I am not going to stare at any frames.

I am going to
lie on the lawn and play with the kids in Hyde Park, enjoying the fun of being followed by some cute puppies, and not Rottweilers.

I am going to
kiss the rain in the midnight, while strolling along Edgware Road. 9 months are sufficient enought to make me miss this place. Some said you miss a place because you have grown dependance towards it, while I say, this place has given me many nice memories, especially Satay House and MSN.

I am going to
keep my feet away from the library and wash away the stinky silence and pressure.

I am going to
fly to the moon, and admire the clouds, knowing that 13 hours later I will reach a place, where I called home.

Daydreaming~~ *2 more weeks!* =)

考试产量

也不晓得为什么，考试时期的头脑，出乎意料，反而特别清晰，所有没联想过的东西，竟然在这个时候，慢慢浮现。

很多美好的词句，都能够，巧妙地配合。

今天，终于迈入了真正的考验。Electronics Materials。

但是，考了后，也松了口气。

有一种感觉，就好象，在异度空间里，遇上了一个朋友。似曾相识，一见如故。

她对你笑了笑，然后，你就倍感放松，缓慢但又平稳地完成了那张考卷.

走去那熟悉的图书馆，又闻到那恐怖的安静。但是，今天，比较轻松，或许是之前遇见了熟友吧。

我坐在电脑面前，思索了一下。

我活在当下，却怀念从前。一个游走在回忆与现实边缘的灵魂，漂浮着那一丝丝的不确定。

我安静。闭上眼睛，偷睡了一下。

晨曦

总觉得，呆在同一个地方很久，好象会把自己的脑袋烧坏。

有种说不出的怪感，就是不想再呆在这里了。

同一个地点，看着外边的天空，从白天变到黑夜，再从黑夜变回白天。

又或者，更不可思议的是，当朋友告诉我，今天的天气不错。我竟然也不太知道。

白昼黑夜，对我而言，似乎已经没有太多的分别。

难得今早，独自去了Senior Common Room里吃早餐。特地选了个靠近窗口的座位，然后看着那四方形的建筑物。

一个灵魂的枷锁，像监狱困着你我。我看着，也有种无法形容的感触。

无数的夜晚，都在里面渡过。更难以理解的是，是我驱使我自己走进去的。

当我走出去时，我对着天空，许下了一个愿。

但愿它会实现。

晚间的思绪

最近，下起笔来，总是不顺心。

真是，下笔难成章，觉得有点儿逃避主义的感觉。越是靠近考试，越是难接受那到来的事实。

你想，总是不够时间，总是太多的东西，总是有做不完的习题。

有时候，人生可以很搞笑。

我在等了414许久后，终于现身了。

我摇摇手，叫它停下来。那司机似乎看不到，但毕竟是巴士亭，他也放慢下来。等我拿好书包后，他头也不回，就这样走了。

留下我，张大嘴巴，瞪着那远去了的巴士。

唯有在等N74了，因为那辆414是最后一趟。想想，又要从Marble Arch走回去Wilson House了。=.=

突然想起这句话；
"外国月亮特别圆".

其实，也不见得。只是，当你站在马来西亚时，所以为的。

我想说的是，外国月亮并不特别圆，但它是比较亮。住在英国不到一年，她点亮我的双眼，也点亮了我的双手。

这分感触，是当我看见我的groupmate,一位Slovakia的朋友,所体会到的。当我们在做电路时，他告诉我在高中时，他做过很多，甚至，有人教过他如何设计电路。

而当我回想时，我除了在 Form 3的Kemahiran Hidup里做过少少的soldering,form4 和 form 5也没有什么机会去接触了。

如没记错，高中时，我是读了很多Eksplorasi,Sukses,Sasbadi等书籍而已。

有人说，学习之前，要先掏空自己。

我终于明白了。

P/S: 总结一下，国家羽球队又再次，没让我们失望。因为，我们都知道，结局是如何。
（纵然如此，还是支持国家队的拿督李综伟！）

Of Reflecting and Rethinking

I came across this article and would like to share with you guys.

The Disadvantages of an Elite Education

(For those who are interested, you can read it. It is a thought-provoking one though it's quite long. )

For those who are not interested, I will just summarise the main points over here.

1. It makes you incapable of talking to people who aren’t like you.

2. An elite education inculcates a false sense of self-worth.

3. You learn to think of yourself in terms of those numbers. They come to signify not only your fate, but your identity; not only your identity, but your value.

4. The idea of not being successful terrifies them, disorients them, defeats them. They’ve been driven their whole lives by a fear of failure.

5. The system forgot to teach them, along the way to the prestige admissions and the lucrative jobs, that the most important achievements can’t be measured by a letter or a number or a name. It forgot that the true purpose of education is to make minds, not careers.

6. Elite schools speak of training leaders, not thinkers—holders of power, not its critics.

7. Thirty-two flavors, all of them vanilla. The most elite schools have become places of a narrow and suffocating normalcy.

8. What happens when busyness and sociability leave no room for solitude?

9. Now that students are in constant electronic contact, they never have trouble finding each other. But it’s not as if their compulsive sociability is enabling them to develop deep friendships.

How do we make use of our tertiary education? Very often we have forgotten why we are here, and when you look back at what you have written on your personal statement or application essays, you will wonder,

"Have I really written this?" O_O

*Reflect and rethink of the true purpose that have made you travel so far to UK.*

图书馆的遐想

曾经认为，待在图书馆的人，都是鱼缸里的小鱼仔。

要游远些，也不能游。最多也是整天对着电脑，在隐形的网里面度日如年。

思绪无限，有限的是肢体上的行动。幻想也变得特别多，譬如：
考完试后，我要怎样怎样。。；
如果我有超能力，我要改变。。。；
倘若考试能够延迟。。

殊不知，小学的完成故事作文题目，一个个浮现出来，嘲笑着你那无奈的表情。

你想，其实，也只不过是想逃避一下现实生活的压力。

被榨汁机(blender)榨到一点精力都没有, 应该是时候，安静下来，闭上眼睛，聆听一下，内心的呼唤。

咖啡与写作

我喜欢咖啡。

总是期望有一天，能够开一间小型的咖啡馆，和自己心爱的人，一起经营。有着黑褐色的地板，以给人一种脚踏实地的感觉；然后在靠近阳台处，摆设一些鲜花，让温和的阳光照射着那杯咖啡。同时,播放着７－８０年代的英语爵士歌曲，成为一个心灵的休息站。

咖啡，给人一种沉醉的感觉，而陷入无尽的幻想。

也就因此，考试时期，我都尽量避免去喝咖啡。美好的幻想，总是无法和残酷的现实并存的。

深夜时分，独自呆在图书馆里，听着周蕙的歌曲。一种悲哀的享受。

当宁静的思绪，碰上压力时，就只好歇一歇，写写部落格。

现在回想起来，原来我是在面对压力时候，爱上写作的。

FOIL

FOIL abbrev. (colloq.) a random group created on facebook has recently emerged as one of the most widely used words amongst Malaysians in Imperial, besides the common ones, like FML, FTW, and epic.

FOIL = Fuck Our Imperial Life.

The main reasons, I believe are due to the exam stress and peer pressure, especially when you think of going to the library to take a nap, or to borrow a book, you find out that the library is as busy as the pasar malam or wall street.

The killing silence which spells the words "stress and pressure". How scary is that!O_O

A study haven has now turned out to be the cage of soul. Life is monotonous and stagnant.

Although I dont really like Biology after studying it in A-levels, I still remember this phrase which I used to tell my friends as a joke.

We are ruminant when we come to study. We swallow and we regurgitate.

(No wonder now I really feel like puking after living this kind of lifestyle for a month)

P/S: If you manage to laugh after reading this, congratulations! Welcome to the nerdy crowds! =)

点评：大马羽球与汤杯

今年的汤杯，经过十年后，再次由马来西亚举办，并且会在五月９日－１６日于本国布特拉室内体育馆，展开争夺汤杯的一轮厮杀。

这一次，显然的，我国想利用主场优势，以重温92年勇夺汤杯的光辉岁月。

可是，随着国家羽球队的名单出来后，可以看出，其实，我国想要重夺汤杯的梦想，恐怕又是仅仅一场美梦。

无须任何的猜测，首号男单，必定是由李宗伟来挑大梁。凭着他在最近的全英赛里勇夺冠军，应该也为整个队伍注射了信心与期望。

但，别忘了，很多时候，像汤杯如此的比赛，除了实力的比试，心理战略也是非常重要的一环。

很明显的，李宗伟要承受异常大的压力。第二和第三男单的阵容，也和两年前的一模一样。

在多几年下去，倘若再没有提拔新人，我国就只会剩下老年残兵，去参加比赛，也顶多是"陪太子读书"而已。

最后，当然还是要祝福本国羽球队，好让他们凯旋归来！

Student Movement

I attended PAN yesterday.

I listened to some of the speeches. Inspiring for some, some are boring.

We discussed about student movement, about changing the situation in Malaysia, about empowering the youth.

We discussed about the aims of organizing PAN. We talked about legacy, tradition, and history.

It's always by tracing the past, you will only know what you are doing in the present and what you are going to do in the future.

Power of student movement. I have almost forgotten that it used to be my drive and motivation.

I remembered when I started writing in Sinchew and Malaysiakini.

I remembered when I started admiring 凌国文 and 郑丁贤 writing styles.

I used to dream that by coming over to UK to study, I can do something I cant do in Malaysia due to some restrictions eg: University and University Colleges Act. But, as time goes by, I lose my track.

And now suddenly I recalled , I used to believe in the talk by this Professor of Tsinghwa University in China- Long Ying Tai (龙应台).

【Of 21st Century-Facing Global Challenges- How should university students prepare themselves?】.

-By having critical thinking. Think independently and manage to discern the true from the false and to be able to understand the facts and the fictions.

-By acquiring knowledge. Tear down the ignorant walls and interact more. Expand your horizon.

-By doing something. Action speaks louder than words. Do something substantial and practical towards a cause.

-By holding high integrity. Without a clean personality, we cant do anything to change the situation.

与自己的对话

残缺的梦，正等待着那一片拼图，凑成一幅心中伊甸园。不知浑噩了多久，也忘记昏睡了多久，总是习惯了那独行侠的角色。

躲在角落里，看着世界转动，很想参与其中，却同时也想置身事外。两种矛盾，两种思绪，两种心情，冲击着内心，激发起阵阵涟漪。

当年少轻狂，不再是食堂里一起吃便当的朋友；当青春时光，不再是草场上一起踢足球的玩伴；当懵懵懂懂，不再是作弄班上老师的借口时；

一切一切，就像酣睡里的sweet dreams ，被时间没收起来，藏在哆啦A梦的八宝袋里。

当你醒来时，你看见的是，竞争；当你走着时，你看见的是未来，而不是现在；当你见面说笑时，像个变色龙；当你无法理解你自己时；

你就知道，不能再问社会能够给你什么了，而是如何使自己更为倔强，更为坚定的原则，来面对社会。

默默地涂上一层防锈漆，并不是为了使自己的表面更鲜艳，而是为了遮盖那害怕会生锈的不安。

得到全世界，却输掉最重要的一部分，你说值得吗？

如果人家问你，最想成为什么？

我会说，“是巧克力。”

巧克力，固体状时，给人力量，甜入心里；溶解了后，也能变成可口的 Hot Chocolate。

可以是高贵的GODIVA，也可以是平凡的KIT-KAT。

当你渴望站在一个平衡点上，你就知道，你已经没有小孩的权利了。

笑一笑：政治版

http://lengkekmun.blogspot.com/2010/04/cool.html

看看我国的领袖，每天所发表的言论。有时候，看了都不知道该大声仰天而笑；抑或是，低头苦笑。

随笔

Today, I attended an event in UCL Robert's Buidling. First, I didnt know who sent me an email about this event, and secondly, when I got there, only I found out that it was an event catered for Malaysian postgrads. =/

Basically, the papers presentations were too boring and dry..and i didnt know anything as those topics discussed were very specific and in depth.

But some sessions are indeed interesting.

"Networking is a 'dirty' word. It is associated with extreme capitalism and it's truly embarrasing back in my time, when I was a student"- Prof. Michael Worton, UCL Vise Provost.

For me, I would say, networking has never been 'cleaner' even until today. It has always been associated with political and realistic purposes, and positions a person at a dilemma state where he/she doesnt even know whether it's right to step in or out at the midst of this confusion.

很多东西当我们站在外面时, 蛮难去了解当事人的. 因为，当局者未必会迷，局外人也不一定会清.
很多时候，都是踩了进去，又退出来一下，反省下，到底该不该这么做。当中的挣扎，也只能够吞进去心里。

有些说，这是难得的学习经验。有些则说，这是培育现实人格的温床。

我只能说，并不是要高攀权贵，而变得现实；只不过是学习面对社会的残酷后，寻找一个平衡点。

些许感触

某天，当有人听到我在UKEC 时，胆敢问我一句，：“那是什么？回大马工作？有谁要回呢？ Malaysia is a piece of shit.”

我听后，觉得有点儿悲哀。

虽然我们整天都在埋怨政府，没效率，天秤重来都不能够平衡， 但是，恳请读者们，问问自己，若你的家里有什么问题，你会告诉别人，说你的家是堆粪吗？

眼看五月份的汤姆斯杯会在大马举行，从92年高举汤杯到现在，整整18年了。当我们的球员输了，我们会咒骂，我们会提下三字经，可是，明年的比赛，我们依旧支持我国的球员。我们绝不会说，“臭LCW，赶快输给林丹，打包袱回家吧！”

这是一种对自己身份的认知。若连这份认知都没有，那是教育的失败。

不知怎么的

不知怎么的，发觉近期内，所写的的文章，都描写自己成一种动物。

糟了，难道来到IC过后，自己变成了一个躲藏在人体内的禽兽？

我第一次写的文章，把自己写成，埋在书堆中的井底蛙，忘记了原来世界并不止是EEE部门那么大。

第二次，把自己写成蚯蚓。一个也是以为世界只在图书馆内周转的思维。

第三次，也就是现在，又看到了自己像只蛇。

蛇，在成长的过程中，会经历蜕皮这阶段。这是最痛苦，最难熬的时段。但是，一旦渡过了这阶段，它又再次拥有新的视野，新的心得。

若非昨日出席了一场演讲，我也几乎忘记了，当初的激情和梦想。

当一个人很累的时候，真的很想双手放开，躺在Hyde Park上的草地上。

那种累，是心灵上的疲倦。

可是，经昨天的讲座的提醒，发现原来，现在自己正经历蜕皮这阶段。

很多时候，要警惕自己，“严以律己，宽以待人。”若自己不为自己打算，谁会为你打算？

希望蜕皮过后，能变回一个人吧~！lol

佳文分享

一篇蛮不错的文章。愿奋斗中的自己和朋友一起加油 =）


http://www.sinchew.com.my/node/150892?tid=3

Untitled #2

No title will be given, as the content will be a summary of my random thoughts.

-Is reaching to the stars, far more better than lying on the ground and observing them at night?

I have been dreaming to study in London since secondary school. There are many unexpected roadblocks, detours, or even obstacles in the middle of the pathway in achieving that dream.

And now, here I am.

I know where did I come from. I know how did I make it. But, where should I go from here? How should I go from here?

People always say, persistent will bring you to your goal. However, when you hold on a cup of water for a very long time, your hand will feel tired and pain.

When persistent is just a word to keep the motivation going, you know it's time to rest.

Being on the peak of the hill is fulfilling, yet it's a lonely path to get up there.

To quote a friend's facebook status. "If you want to go high, go alone; if u want to go far, go with many people."

Simplicity is actually not simple at all.

Any minutes spent to plan for the future, is any minutes lost for embracing the present.

蚯蚓

是时候用华文来书写了。 这也是为了避免倾向于只用单一语文来抒发情绪。

最近，书写像患上了便秘。

要写写不出，但是又有股气想写。那种一气呵成，把心中所想都抛出来的妄想。或许，夸张一点来说，几乎到了江郎才尽，文思枯竭的边缘。

想回来，也许是长时间接触理科的关系吧。理科的词汇深奥难懂，搞懂了也纯粹是为了考试而懂。
不但如此，而且还枯燥生硬，用来书写，未读就先睡了。

所以，某些时候，觉得自己有点儿像只蚯蚓。

它只会一味的往地底钻，越钻越深，殊不知，却忘了，地上的生活，才是多姿多彩的，才是瞬息万变的。

抒情文，写起来却像写议论文。真可悲！ 呵呵 =）

PMS (Post Mnight Syndrome)

26th and 27th of Feb 2010, two very memorable days for my first year undergrads in Imperial.

From reluctantly going for all the practices, to willingly skipping lab session for rehearsals, I have only two words to say- No regrets!

As I am typing this post, my memory reels back to the 2nd month after I touched down in London. I still remembered, there was a time when we complained about Mnight weekly practices took up our precious Wednesday afternoon. There was a time when we grumbled, of how hard to perfect our Dikir Barat moves. There was a time when we really didnt feel like going for Saturday and Sunday practices when Spring term commenced.

We thought, all these were just purely time-wasting.
We thought, all these were pretty useless, as compared to our studies.
We thought, all these were not even helpful in our CV.

Even until the few days before Mnight, when we were required to skip lectures, tutorials or lab sessions, we whined and sighed, thinking that studies are definitely more important. (I am one of them XD).

However, when the actual days arrived, we got high. We cheered, we shouted, and we clapped!

When the scenes were awesome, we clinched our fist and said YES!
When the jokes were funny, we had a great relief.
When we did mistakes on the stage, we comforted each other, saying that it's alright.
When we saw the seats were filled up, we knew the stage is for us. It's show time.

We camwhored, we laughed, we roared, and some of us did cry.

As the performances end, we felt heavy-hearted.

The familiar locations, UDH, UCH, QTR, Great Hall are etched in our minds. The weekly practices which we have so got used to them, making us to feel that back to normal life w/0 Mnight practice seems so awkward. The weekly dinner session at OC or Bosphorus after practices will all be remembered.

But, no matter how great a show is, there will still be a time to close the curtain and say goodbye.

Folks, thanks alot for the efforts. I admit that I really had a great time working with u guys towards creating a miracle, a great play which rocked the whole hall.

Imperial Mnight 2010 = 5 months of efforts, 2 days of performaces, 3 hours of hard work and a lifetime to remember the moments we had, deep down in our heart.

So, sadly to say, THE END-lar. =D