送旧迎新

这个post的标题，似乎比较适合农历新年，但是，屈指一算，也有3年没回去过新年。在这里，已经习惯过着外国的新年了。

今年的31日，没有白色的雪花，只有绵绵细雨。

伦敦的步伐，依然是那么快。新年的气氛，应该只有在London Eye附近才会有吧！与朋友倒数了两年，觉得有点闷了。

或许，这一年，会选择呆在家里。

蓦然回首，（是老套了点，我承认。=p）今年，有一些大大小小的曲折；也有大大小小的惊喜。曲折，让我更坚持一些信念，也丢掉了一些自以为是的信念；惊喜，在我最不经意的转角处，让我遇见了。

虽然，还有许多未解的问题，但我相信，明年一定会更好！

祝所有的朋友、亲戚们，新年快乐。 =)

Hooligans in London

A truly memorable winter break, indeed.

The moment, for sure you will remember, till the end of your days. 

In a split second, the beautiful imagination crumbled. The bubble is lost in thin air.

Before you mourn the lost, you have to deal with it. 

There were not enough time for you to think about your lost. 

The angels, you once thought that they are the protectors of civilians, are in fact law-abidingly cruel creatures. 

Fate, is strange.

It came as nice and wonderful as a dream, and appeared as horrible and scary as a nightmare.

You came out from the building, 

looking up to the sky, 

telling yourself that it's over. 

The words are heavy. 

Because it's finally the time, where you have to admit that, your fight is over. 

People said that being defeated is optional, I would say this time, it's inevitable.

Fate, you win this time. Hands down. 

Digging the grave, to mourn the imagination of a lovely trip.

Planting the seeds of hope, to wish that it won't end as such. 

Twist and turn of fate, 

I sighed,

I wept, 

I was clueless.

冬天·旅行

初冬，雨。

今年的伦敦，进入冬天很久了，却还没有下雪。是有一点奇怪。

但是，天气依然寒冷。

学期已经结束了三天，等待的是冬季的旅行。一直以来，都很喜欢旅行，虽然很累，你却能看到很多网上，书上都描写不到的景色，心情，和思绪。

就好比，夏季时的布拉格(Prague)，那下过雨后，凌晨五点早上的日出；春季的挪威(Norway)，在400米高的山上，眺望着整个Bergen市镇(Travel in Norway)。

还有，夏季的罗马，在竞技场(Colosseum)里感受着2000年前，Gladiator的呐喊。

这一次的旅行，又会是怎么样的呢？

久逢感触

那些年錯過的大雨
那些年錯過的愛情
好想告訴妳 告訴妳我沒有忘記
那天晚上滿天星星
平行時空下的約定
再一次相遇我會緊緊抱著妳
緊緊抱著妳

-胡夏《那些年》

伦敦的夜空，在冷风的吹拂下，更显得落寞。房里的温暖，犹记得，好像很久没有写过文章了。生活上的轻松，却带来了更多的压迫。我开始明白，当野兽在山崖上咆哮时的感慨。那是因为它忍着寒冷，站在高处，却得不到月亮。

最美好的，原来还是心灵的探索。一步步地听着心的呼唤，隔着地理的距离，时间的捉迷藏，原来，平行时空是存在的。

这，就是当你在沙漠里，遇到绿洲时，嘴角微微上扬的那一刻。

迈入第三年，十一月尾段，很多东西都有了转变。朋友间的遇见，也充满了变数。拉远的，靠近的，总在擦肩碰触间发生。越来越像街边的路灯，白天时，你不觉得；到了夜晚时，你才可能发现，今夜的路灯灭了。

感触，在现在与未来徘徊。

Take-away from Silicon Valley Comes to UK

"Brave" is not how you feel about yourself, it's about what you have done and people feel about you. -Sarah, ex-employer from General Magic, California.

I randomly walked up to a middle-aged lady and had a chat with her, turned out to be she was once a student in the MIT Media Lab, and now the Vice President of Google HQ in California.

She mentioned to me about a tradition in Canada engineering school. An engineering graduate is given an iron ring. The ring is set to be a reminder to fellow young engineers, while embarking on a journey of becoming a professional engineer, always adhere by the morals and ethics of practices.

I always find this interesting. Random chat, random encounter, random facts, and when all these are mashed up together, they ignite random inspirations.

The whole event is set in a very dynamic tempo, as a student who is just starting to explore the world of entrepreneurship, this is really an eye-opener. You have venture capitalists talking about investing ideas with ambitious forecast; you also have entrepreneurs seeking for advices from the Silicon Valley chaps; angel investors who have funded more than 100 new start-ups.

A CEO of a start-up sat beside me. So, after a round of background checking, (where do you study, what course, when are you graduating etc), he started asking question.

#Conversation 1
Him: Any ideas want to start up what kinda business?
Me: Nothing in particular. Still finding inspiration
Him: What if I give you GBP 1mil, and a lab for you to do what you want. What kinda product you can give me?
Me: *Speechless*
Him: You see, the problem is we are lacked of idea. Not money.

#Conversation 2
Him: Are you expecting to complete your degree?
Me: Yea of course, in about 1.5 years time.
Him: Then we are not hiring you.
Me: Why so?
Him: We want people who are brave enough to go beyond college curriculum. We want people who have done something really great.

People there, are full of crazy ideas, illogical thoughts, random opinions, ambitious visions. At the dinner in London Science Museum, the organizers challenge us one thing- to create or invent something that can be put into the museum in 10years times. Only the best inventions towards mankind will be put inside.

I gulped. And, shiver was sent down my spine.

At that moment, I wasn't even sure what was running on my mind. It just went blank.

Quantifying the Quantity

The more we are running away from quantifying things in life, the closer we are to it.

The more we advocate that we are not going to be that academic anymore, and starting to look into extra-curricular activities, we begin to find the scoreboards.

The more we are asking people to do start-ups, the more we are doubting people ideas, if they dont have any failures under the belt.

The more we are encouraging people to be out of their comfort zones, the more we are finding methods to make things measurable.

We look down on exams, but we agree that it's the best way to distinguish the best from the good.

Even psychometric tests are being practiced like mid-term exams, so how do we claim that we are not quantifying things anymore?

秋天写作

好像很久没有进来这里了，突然想起，所以就进来写写东西。

回到这里，已经是第3年了。这里的一切，算不上一清二楚，却也蛮熟悉了。当初来这里的热情，不知道去了哪里。

或许，从另外一个角度看，热情，沉淀了，变得更喜欢，更会用心去看这里的一切。

功课量，明显的，减少了一大半。时间，却不怎么多出来。可能，我用在课外上的活动了吧。这样也好，毕竟，第3年了，是时候开始，自己掌控自己的时间。

有些朋友，会在今年毕业。时间过得真快，蓦然回首，好像还在KLIA里，穿着那套西装。懵懂的表情，生疏的面孔，却被回忆收藏起来了。

现在，每天都会经过这个伦敦最大的公园-hyde park。看着树叶，从青绿色变到橙黄色，你知道，原来，把握现在，最重要。

这一次，心灵上也起了变化。梦想，还在泡沫里，非常美好。

从香港大学(HKU)看大学自由与精神

近日，港大(HKU)学生因百年校庆，邀请了中共副总理李克强参加其典礼，而掀起了轩然大波，校园内外皆有学生示威。

因为，这关系到中国高官的到访，会否引起港大学术自由受到干预，遂而使到港大逐渐“大陆化”。事情严重到港大校长登报道歉，会继续保证学生的言论与思想自由。

大学的言论自由，和学术自由，曾经是古今中外，顶尖大学的学生，所捍卫的精神，可是，现在呢，却沦为思想上的产物，而没有实际价值的东西。

北京大学与清华大学，也曾经在中国的历史与文化里，扮演着重要的角色。身为国内最高学府，除了是获取知识与智慧的殿堂，现在，也在时代的进步中，向权威与金钱屈服了。

《大纪元》的评论员有提到，哈佛百年校庆，曾经拒绝里根(Ronald Reagan)总统的出席，直到后来的让步，让里根出席，却必须要服从大会的安排，包括没有特别礼待，名字跟随英文字母的排列等。

这拥有非常象征性的意义，因为，学术自由与精神，是高等学府最神圣的标志。哈佛大学的Veritas(真理); Imperial(知识是帝国的盾牌); Cambridge (我们追寻光与知识)， 包括所有美国常春藤(Ivy Leagues)，以及亚洲顶尖大学，都拥有类似的标语（motto）。

可是，是否顶尖大学就维护了这些传统？

看看Imperial，回到去，就已经是第3年了。我们除了告诉自己，它是大学排行榜上前十名的大学外，还剩什么？到底，这四年，我们除了告诉自己，这个学府的文凭会带给你无数的就业机会，又还有什么？

本地大学更不要谈，不排除大学里面还有学生仍追求着思想与学术自由，但是，以现在的情势来看，本地大专，除了沦为政党的宣传工具，还有维护种族主义的温床外，又还有什么呢？

画地自限，则会遮盖了部分视野；不画地自限，却带来失业。

在现今世界经济低迷，知识泛滥，创意有限，专业人士短缺的年代里，曾经震撼世界；曾经带领文化革命；曾经改写时代的大学，又如何定位呢？

叶子

走在路上，偶然看见片枯叶。风，徐徐的吹，把秋天的味道也吹过来了。

很快的，还有一个星期，就是回去英国的时候了。

离开了家里，叶子，随着梦想，继续飘。走过云层，那朦胧的感觉，好像在雾水里，看着你的笑容；越过山脉，也涉过海水，原来，梦想的路，是崎岖的。

岁月在流逝，老套了点，却越来越靠近。像呼吸的氧气，不留意，不代表不存在。

希望，却也衬托了叶子的飞翔。希望，就像你坐在飞机里，从窗外望出去，早晨里在云端里的日出。美丽，优雅，迷人。

也不知道为什么，突然，觉得叶脉，被人搜查一番，思绪非常杂乱；灵感，好像被人偷去了。所以写出来的文字，既有意思，又不知所云；既无意义，又若有所思。

在烈阳底下，视野，好像汗水般，被蒸发掉了。没有视野的文章，就如没有节拍的音乐。

叶子，躺在一望无际的草原上，看着那轮明月，开始想，在北大西洋(North Atlantic Ocean)的另一端，秋天，会否一样美丽？

闲情思考

最近，都闲在家里，没什么事干。得空就上上网，再不是就读读文章。学术性的也好，美丽的也读，什么杂文也都读一番，当着是用来过时间，同时也能充实自己。

再过多两个星期，就是回英国的日子了。所以，脑袋最近也不是很能够思考。

思绪飘来飘去，都是些很多没有关系的东西，拉拢在一起。有位智者说过，“我们常常思考未来，回顾往事，偏偏就没有把握现在。”

非常正确。智慧，比知识重要许多。

我时常说到，“严以律己，宽以待人”，不知不觉中，也把这句话当成自己人生的黄金定律。

告诉自己，千万不能够以别人的自由，成为你愿望的代价。因为在遇过的人事物当中，明白到，用心思考，比用脑思考，会谅解以及尊重别人。

就好像，《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》里说的一句话，人生里，不像考试，每一个问题，都会有解答。

有些问题，不是看看书本，背出来就找到答案。
有些问题，不是问问别人，就会有个标准答案。
有些问题，不是静静在那边想，就有个答案出来。

有些问题，需要时间的沉淀；像做科学实验，一步一步以信念去印证。拔苗助长，只会让那苗，死得更快。

我深呼吸，告诉自己，在等待的时间里，努力充实自己吧。

Rainy night at 2am

If I die young
bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
sink me in the river, at dawn
send me away with the words, of a love song

-"If I die young", The Band Perry

This song is beautifully sang. Randomly played on the radio, in the middle of a Saturday night.

A heavy rain has just stopped, in the midnight at a small town.

And, with the soft breeze touching your cheeks, reminding you of the sweet tranquility after a downpour.

Starry sky, of a dream that will never come after a sad cry from the clouds.

But, deep down in the veil of the dark, there will be a rainbow we couldnt see, on the other side of the world.

Every heart lies a cupid. Whispering the faith into the soul. A noble wish which transcends the space and time, sleeping soundly in the mind.

Just like a sailor, who sits by the London Bridge, after a long voyage, still keeping the dream of the America.

Rain in the fall, illuminates the sorrow of the night.

九月的记忆

九月七日，初秋，晴。

人家说，秋天是最令人惆怅的，因为树叶泛红，随风飘落。

路的两旁，橙黄色的思念，独步公园的静寂，构成一幅忧愁，但又美丽的水彩画。

还记得，十五岁那年，就开始立志要到海外留学。当时的年少，就没有什么复杂的念头，就知是要看世界，实践一下 “读万卷书，不如行万里路” 的真正意思。

小时候，很喜欢去书店，买一些叙述名人的故事书。就好像牛顿(Newton)，爱因斯坦(Einstein)，华盛顿(George Washington)，林肯(Lincoln)等名人的漫画。

就觉得，外国月亮，是否真的比较远，也比较圆？

那时候，读着剑桥，牛津，哈佛，耶鲁，麻省理工等学校，只觉得这些都是排行榜上，遥不可及的梦想。

七年的光景过去了，现在蓦然回首，原来一切，只要有意志力，就会有办法去靠近。置身在帝国理工学院(Imperial)，你突然明白到，原来有时候，梦想是可以达成的。

走过London Bridge时，你现在摸着的是实实在在的物体，而不是儿歌 "London Bridge is falling down"里的幻想。

犹记得两年前的九月，我穿着西装，在KLIA机场里，等待上飞机的那一刻，心中有许多无法言喻的感慨。

当初中五毕业后，得不到任何奖学金，直到我飞了13个小时，抵达London Heathrow机场，中间的那段经历，深深地烙印在我的脑海里。除了流泪，我真的也不知道如何去形容。

三年前的九月，我还在UCSI Cheras里，用着手推车(trolley)，把十多叠的A4纸张，从山下，推到山上。

为了一张推荐信(recommendation letter)，从芙蓉乘搭巴士到Pasar Seni，再搭LRT到Asia Jaya站。

回顾历史，才能明白现在和未来的路要怎么走。就如Apple的Steve Jobs所讲的,

"Life is about connecting the dots. You wont know it now, but you must believe in something: life, destiny, faith or belief, and continue to walk. One day, when you look back, the dots will be connected perfectly."

今年的九月，也非常感激幸运的眷顾，度过了一个很美好的夏季。

"Time and Will-power change a man. But, neither of these transforms a man. Only love does".

其实，九月，一点儿也不惆怅。它给你时间去沉淀你的思维，然后理清你的想法。

明年的九月，又会是一个怎样的心境呢？:)

原来·沉默

很久以前，开始写作时，我总以为，伤心时，写作能够给予安慰。

也一直以为，伤心是个澎湃的心情，像兴奋的心情般有活力的。

现在才知道，原来，伤心是个不爱说话的小精灵。它，也可以躲在快乐的背后，继续安静地欣赏这世界。

他知道，这即将来临的一年里，会是他人生里，一个微妙的变化。

逻辑告诉他，要学着麻痹，那绞痛着的内心。因为，他肩膀是必需给予那个她。

因为不舍，所以要更舍得。流着微笑里的泪，他明白了。

原来，伤心是沉默的。

英美教育之差

终于，在maxis的暑假工，也宣告结束了。真正的暑假，才刚刚开始。

恢复自由身的日子，真的会比较轻松。无忧无虑，世界在荧幕里。就算发着白日梦，也无需担心老板来叫醒你，或者害怕浪费时间。

感谢幸运女神的眷顾，妹妹有机会到美国去深造。但是，由于时间短促，再加上没有过往经验，做哥哥的，唯有协助她做做研究。

慢慢细读下，才发现，美国的学院，尤其是ivy leagues的大学，每一间都拥有悠久的历史，不为人知的故事，独特的学院气息和胆大的宏观。

就好像进去一座城堡，你知道，这是罗马时代的；这是希腊时代的。你是会知道的。

当我看回我自己的学校，Imperial College，中文译名：帝国理工学院。单看名字，就知道他有多豪华，多技术性，只可惜，人文气息，一点儿也没有。

那灵魂层面的认知，或许也真的停留在数字与考试中。

此外，在这个夏季里，因为Otak2的因缘际会下，认识了蛮多在美国就读的朋友。也看得出，在谈吐以及经历方面，也有少许的不一样。

看来，有些东西，的确需要向美国学习学习。

下雨的沉思

似乎很久了，没有试过如此心动。

平时，我都喜欢分析事物，再加上直觉和逻辑，理论一番。可是，这一次，我选择了相信我自己的心，那心里的感觉。

我从眼睛里，看见了那真挚的灵魂。就是那么朴实，那么真实。

没有经过时间洗礼的诺言，像是披上糖衣的谎言。这，我深深明白。

雨，倾盆而下，我向上天祷告。

愿美梦成真。

与月倾谈

偶然，听见了 《Talking to the Moon》这首歌。不断的播放，就像心里的感慨，慢慢地被释放出来，无法停止。

抬头仰望，原来，月亮是那么的美，却也那么的忧郁。

那忧郁的影子，折射在脸上，诉说着无尽的思念。我在想，会不会是嫦娥在上面，因长期思念后羿，所以把月亮也变成如此伤悲了。

不过，你也知道，历经过沧桑的月，是最了解你内心想表达的，想告诉的，想展现的。

寄情于月，成了你的嗜好。

Smiling Lines

A soul is most beautiful when it's covered with roses.

And, he smiles because the summer has been a sweet serendipity.

八月飘霜

今年的八月，特别美丽。

夏季的风，吹在脸上，洋溢着前所未有的芬芳。

可是，望着桌上的日历，点算着，原来只剩下约20多天的日子。莫非快乐的日子，真的那么快过？

昨晚，人在床上，思绪却不知道飘去哪儿。眼睛睁着，却什么也想不出。

平时的我，都会坦荡荡地说，这是人之常情。今天的我，突然变得胆小了，变得害怕。如何保护那快乐的时光？

因为真心，所以很担心；因为怕错过，所以小心翼翼。

炎热的八月，却变得像冬天那样，以寒冷的雪覆盖着温暖的心。

两种体会，一种写实

不知不觉中，在Maxis上班，也有约一个月了。现在被调去PDI(Product Development and Info Services)， 就靠近KLCC那里。

突然，有种想法：在一个崇拜西方，和拜金主义的社会里，究竟会培养出怎么样的公民？

在PDI里，有位在牛津(Oxford)大学里就读的外国学生，过来Maxis这里实习(Internship)，上班初期，就有所谓的induction programme，然后被委派做一些较为简单的真实project。

而我看见其他本地的学生，根本就没有所谓的induction programme。Project更不需要谈。在如此的趋势下，我们要如何告诉本地学生，其实论名气，论实力，都输给海外学生，要如何补救呢？

莫非本地学生，都真的没有用？这是政府落实的政策里，所冒现出来的败笔，并不是他们的错。当我们责怪他们不够努力，无法取得奖学金时，马上就会有另一把声音，告诉我们其实奖学金不需要给那么多啦，留他们在本地吧。

但是，大公司，是真的那么想吗？

实力与名气的悬殊那么大，将会带领我们去更危险的贫富悬殊。

此外，当我们的社会步伐越走越快，我们会不会不小心，在追逐名利的路上，遗失了容忍，忍耐的美德呢？

乘搭巴士时，有位印度老伯，因为走路不方便，所以特别的慢。巴士司机立即对他大喊大骂，告诉他还有很多乘客要下车。

这世界，到底变成怎样了呢？

雨天写作

已经很久了，没有这样的感觉。

外面的倾盆，给予一片朦胧美。少许的雾，飘在空中，让坐在窗口边的我，看见吉隆坡午后，雨景里的另一面。

也不知道，这是不是只是我个人的心情？吃过午饭，懒洋洋的，躺在椅子上，思绪漂走。那雨水，就像童话里的魔术，撒在窗口，带走了部分的烦恼。

城市的步伐，走得有点儿太快。快到连睡觉的时间，都差点不够用。望一望办公室里的人，大家也不多说了。

语言，似乎在空气中，凝结了。抑或是，内心，不再友善了呢？

我慢慢的打字，竟然缓缓地睡下去了。曾几何时，午睡，已经变成了一个昂贵的消遣。

雨，好像停了。孙燕姿的《雨天》，也播放完毕了。

睡醒后的午后，显得特别宁静。宁静的美，实在是可遇而不可求啊！

Ashamed to be a Malaysian

This is probably the first time in my life, felt so shameful for being a Malaysian.

I was in the KTM this afternoon, heading towards Mid Valley to meet up with my Imperial friend. And, the KTM was as packed as usual.

After a couple of minutes, i managed to squeeze myself in. At this moment, I saw a Singaporean uncle, pressing his chest and gasping for air.

He asked weakly, "why is it that the train is so packed, yet the door is not closed yet? And why do people keep pushing in?"

When I got down at the Midvalley station, he got down as well although it's not his destination. He could hardly breathe in that environment. I brought him to a bench to sit down and rest.

He told me that he was having a minor heart attack, but nobody was paying him any attention.

I just stood there, doing nothing but just saying sorry to him.

However, he still tried to put a smile on his face, saying "thank you, young man. I can deal it myself", despite the excruciating pain he was enduring.

Sometimes, we tend to forget that people who need help the most, might not be the one who shouts the loudest.

Morals and civic consciousness, where art thou?

一流大学，九流人格

Disclaimer：这篇文章，纯粹是为了抒发而抒发。愿大家勿轻易对号入座。如有雷同，纯属巧合。

所谓顶尖大学，就是在世界里，享有盛誉的名牌大学。大学本身，就是一个时尚品牌，在里面就读，就像是为自己的履历表，渡上了一层金片。

但是，稍微读过几年华文的，都应该听过这句话吧!

"金玉其外，败絮其中"

做了22年的人，遇过的人，不算多，可是，也绝对不少。很多时候，身上没有什么金片的，在待人处事方面，也的确比较好。简单来说，就是我们所说的，”会做人“。

有时候，也真的会感到有些失望。几乎到了夜半时分，他可以不需要理会任何的人事物，就拍拍屁股走了。如果不是看到其他的朋友感到比较无助和紧张，我才不会浪费口水，帮人求情。

说真的，我有时会想，是不是以前别人是这样对他的？所以造就了今时今日，他这样的思维。但，大家现在也没有怎样利用他啊！要解忿气，也要找对对象嘛！

或许，当他没有自己的交通工具时，才会明白到我的心情。

首先，做不到，讲话却那么响亮。话说到那么动听，到了最后，却办不到。这样的人，在某种程度上，就失去了信任。

在五花八门，人群混杂的地区里，过了午夜，就像个充满地雷的战场。飞车党，攫夺匪，妓女满街跑。在不知道酒店的所在地，我也是靠问人，在黑夜里，独自摸索了半小时多，电话也差点被抢。

不过，这也再次证明了我的看法。

”人，是个自私的动物。“ 我不会责怪他，毕竟现实是这样。但是，我会时常警惕自己：

1.唯有靠自己，才最实际。
2.别人这样对我，我大可不必要那么对回别人。怨有头，债有主。

Memo of Internship 2

Feelings and inspiration are like magic, they appear spontaneously and disappear immediately. Therefore, confining them into words and characters are the best way to keep them eternal.- Peter Phang.

I am now in my 3rd week of internship. Life has not been productive, but it has been interesting.

From next week onward, my supervisor will be giving me a chance to rotate from one department to another. This will definitely be great as I will have the opportunity to put those pieces of jigsaw puzzles together and understand the general operations of Maxis in mobile and broadband networks.

And, he said to me, that engineering skill is very much sought after in today's market. don't give up your engineering background.

Thus, i am contemplating between joining the engineering force and the not-so-technical fields like consulting and banking. How's the life for these two? How's it like to deal with clients and to provide them with solutions?

While this is one of the big questions i have to answer as soon as possible, I had the chance to visit two unconventional companies -Air Asia and Royal Selangor.

"You begin with a humble start, and you will end up proud".

Entrepreneurship has always been in my mind. When you see how KS Pua starts everything from scratch, when you see how Tony and his partner, who just work in a radio station, and now making their marks in the aviation history, your heart trembles and wants to soar as well. And not forgetting the family of Royal Selangor, who has so many beautiful stories to be told to the world.

"The road in front is normally hazy and bumpy, and only when you look back to find the path you have walked on, you have the courage and confidence to move forward".

所谓论坛

昨晚，出席了个论坛。

当中，有一个是 National Youth Council的代表。其思维，的确让我惊愕不已。有几个论证看起来是很有道理，却漏洞百出。

1.他指出，制度(system)是没有错的，错的是人。看起来，是没有错。可是，是谁制定那个制度的呢？

2.他还说，我们国家才独立了50多年，非常的年轻，与泱泱大国如美国来比较，我们简直是幼嫩。人家美国200年后才有第一个黑人总统啊！依照这样的逻辑，难道我们还多等一个世纪半，才可以改变我们的国家？现在媒体那么先进，要是有决心要改，政府早就改了。

3. 有学生提出新加坡为例子。他说，难道你以为新加坡没有不公平的政策？这点，我不否认，其帕拉图(Plato)式的精英主义(elitism)，也常为人诟病。

可是，这样，并不代表你也可以制定一些不平等的条例。人家不好，难道我们也要跟着不好吗？最重要是会懂得取长补短。

举个例子，你的家进了贼，然后你以同样的理由去当贼，进去别人的屋子。你认为，对吗？

他还给了我们很多计划，如youth parliament. 说要我们参与，"to make our voices heard"。 其实，我们都知道，"our voices are heard, but who is listening?"

Bersih 喊得那么响亮，到头来，政府也不是当他们是非法集会？

整个论坛，原本是要学生考虑回国服务，或者培养学生利用最近的政治动态，去思考未来走向。到了最后，我们却以一个很无奈的口气，总结昨晚的讨论。

“Be good in what you do best. And it's always good to have some political awareness."

讲了，等于没有讲。兜圈子兜了整晚，却还在原地踏步。这种论坛，还是早点回家睡觉更好。

真实

一直以来，我都以为，面对的，已经够真实了。那现实的，那残酷的，那无奈的，我以为，我都看过。

来到了Maxis，当上了暑假实习生。看到的，听到的，原来更为颤抖。

在你眼前，你看到，原来，在大马里，很多优秀的，有经验的科技人，都不太备受重视。很多只会放屁，含糊过日子的，却高高在上。

当初，听到时，我们都会说，“是这样的啦。这世界是这样的。”

但是，当你真真看到时，你会感到恐惧，颤抖着想，到底你要做什么？

高薪水？改变世界？科技达人？

因为，现在已经几乎到达了那三岔口。梦想，生活，金钱。

做工让人成长，我现在相信了。成长地太快，有点儿害怕。不知道会不会被“拔苗助长”了呢？

要改变世界，掌握科技，非常地关键。

我在这里，面对的都是至少有5年以上的资深工程师，还有一些甚至拥有几张专业核证。谈话时，的确会变得胆小。Imperial的名堂，顿时变得像空气中的粉末，微不可见。

我很难想象，5年后的我，会有着什么样的生活方式？

一个资历尚浅的工程师，乱乱放屁，指指点点。

还是，

一个被人看不起，却尽力去吸收和学习的工程师。

这，我在这里，都看见了。

未来，因为不可知，所以令人担忧。因为充满变数，所以不确定。

Insights of an Intern

Flipping over the calendar, marking down the dates, and now I am on my 4th days of interning with Maxis.

The same routine goes round the days: sleep at 2am, wake up at 630am. Take a bus at 730am, and arrive at the office around 830am.

But, a glass of teh-tarik or kopi panas will clear up my dizzy mind and starts the day with 90% of the spirits and a tinge of drowsiness.

(Thanks to Imperial for the harsh training.)

These 4 days have given me some real insights about the working life in Kuala Lumpur. As I work alongside with my supervisor, I can see that employees in the technical field are generally undervalued.

The salary is low, but the food price, transportation cost are high. The money you get evaporates in no time and you question yourself: is it really worth to work in a technical field in KL?

Right now, before even starting any projects, I have to dive into reading the basics of internetworking- the knowledge of connecting internet and mobile networks. The stuff is extremely challenging and technical (the main Maxis network system in the Klang Valley). I literally never learn before all these.

But i get more and more comfortable as I spend more time in it. Again, this, I have to thank Imperial for the harsh training.

I pay 21k pounds to study 80% of the modules myself in the university, and now Maxis is paying me 1k to study real-life stuff myself. How ironic is that!

You rush to work and get back to your house at about 9pm. Talking about reading more books or living your life are plain imaginary ideas once you start working.

Besides, last weekend was the first weekend which Otak-otak starts its programmes. First time got in touch with the intensive case study workshop and it gave me some new and fresh experience, to think about my career path in the next future.

Plus, as a student in UK, meeting up with the students from the Ivies,reputable unis, Liberal Arts Colleges in the States definitely give me a very exciting interactions. The world will be so dull if everyone is just the same, right?

It's time to re-evaluate the goals in life and the direction for my next 2 years in the university.

历史性的一刻

还有十五个小时。

心情，忐忑不安，却也雀跃万分。两种情绪，一种心情。当中的惊心动魄，可想而知啊。

回想当年，国父敦姑阿都拉曼高喊 “默迪卡”的激昂，让国人无法忘记。我想，明天，若我喊出来，应该也不会输他。

那一天，那左盼右盼的日子，终于来临了。

明天四点下午，让我们一起来见证。

那在Imperial College London, EEE Building Room407里，高喊自由的澎湃。

尾声的号角

看着电脑银幕上的倒数，还剩3天，4个小时，4分钟，06秒的时间，就是酷刑结束的时候。

朦胧间，仿佛听到了战争里的号角响起。那洪亮的声音，告诉你，战争结束了，人类重获自由。

没想到，当初不知道如何熬过这段时日，现在，却已经接近尾声了。

这段日子，好听一点来说，就是先苦后甜，至于甜不甜，还是其次。苦，就肯定了。现在回想起来，有点儿不敢看回走过的时日。

现在，必须要克制那向往自由的灵魂，沉着打完这场年度大战。心里，诚恳地向神灵祷告，能够保佑保佑，给我一个美好的战绩，而不是拿破仑的滑铁卢。

最后的战役

这一仗，打得不太怎么好。看来，也不知道考试前许下的愿望，会否真的实现。

每一张之前，都用过心，用过脑，用过精神，也用过时间。成绩如何，真的要让天来决定。谋事在人，成事在天。

那在考场里，两个小时的煎熬，有点儿不可理喻。

最后的三张，是时候，沉着心，慢慢去面对了。

还有多久？

又一个星期过去了。又考了多三张。

六张已经成为过去式。还有五张未来式。现在呢，却已经感到疲累不已。

也许是压力和疲劳，造成了很多不堪回首的错误。只是希望不会是一失足成千古恨吧！

日起日落，默默数算着，这种日子，还有多久？

就像打羽球似的，当你在场上，一个不留神，一个紧张，就会连丢很多分，甚至会输掉整场比赛。需要的是，也许是个调整心态的时刻。

太多的顾虑，太乱的思绪，爬满了脑子里的空间，封锁了平静的心间。

此时此刻，除了继续匍匐向前，别无选择。

地狱休息站

才刚刚完成连续三天的会考，身心非常疲累。

今天，真的很想休息一下。就听听歌，看看戏，在平静与娱乐中，渡过这个晚上。

接下来的考试，也不见得会容易。接下来的三个星期，实在是难以去想象。

这是一场考验。一场人体极限和脑力的拔河比赛。

11科，11张纸。

你告诉自己，这场赛跑，从四月头就已经开始，跑了将近三个月，没有停过，绝对不能在这个时候，放弃式的松懈。

不管怎样，也要跑完下去。是出尽能力，挑战极限的努力去跑完。

这是对自己的交代。一个对自己的承诺，对自己的期望。

就算是什么代价，也不能辜负自己。

希望，能得心所愿。

Pathetically funny Scribbles.

The most dreaded days are here. Finally.

The days you wish them to come quicker, and wish them to move further away at the same time.

They are here. The battlefields are prepared right before you, no matter how prepared you are.

Sometimes, exams season can be funny as well, but pathetically. I find out about this when I happen to chat with some friends back in Malaysia.

#Conversation 1

A: Hey, have you done with your exams?
Me: Err..nope. I will only begin a few days later.
A: I thought the last time we chat you said you will be having exams soon?
Me: Yea. haha (Laughed bitterly because the last time was the beginning of April.>.<)

#Conversation 2

B: How's your exam going?
Me: For god sake, I haven't even started man! But I will be re-taking SPM this summer.
B: Oh. That means it's easy for you la.
Me: Nope. I am not talking bout the level of the exam. It's the number of the subjects.

#Conversation 3

C: How come your course has so many subjects wan?
Me: Yea, I am wondering too. Haiz. Must be I did something wrong in my past life. Kena punished.
C: HAHAAHAHA.


Good luck peeps! May the force and luck be with us. :D

Gambling with exam

As how we view it, the doomsday is looming around.

The nightmare, which you don't want to meet up with, is right at the corner. T_T

Some choose not to study, because they want to try their lucks; while some try their best to study, because they are putting their future as their chips.

A piece of paper, with some scribbles on it, determines your lives and partially your dreams. As much as you want to run away from it, that's the amount of courage you are required to put in.

As one of my favourite quotes say, "The best lesson that we can learn from children fictions is, dragon exists and we can kill it, as long as we don't give up.

So, let's remember the pain, keep the perseverance, and put your best bet forward.

Luck will only come when you believe in yourself.

All the best, fellow readers! :)

甲与乙的对话-爱国

编按(Editor Note):由于最近爱国课题被炒得沸沸扬扬，甲与乙，也打算谈一谈。

在嘛嘛档里。

甲说：“到底那些人是不是爱国的？读了书，做了工，就要移民。摒弃抚养自己的泥土，成何体统？”

乙说：“那，如果他们都在海外闯出名声，让别人认识我们的国家，不好吗？”

甲补上：“那些寂寂无名的呢？把钱丢给别的国家用而已。“

乙又说：”别忘记，有句话说，父母在，不远游。能够在自己的国家，受到平等的待遇，又有谁愿意离乡背井？“

甲：”那，就从自己改变啊。“

乙：”哪里可能要求所有人都成为国家斗士？就算有人想做，反对他的人，也仍然在大多数。支持他的呢？不是安静，就是躲在背后议论纷纷。有人会放弃家庭，放弃工作，与他并肩作战？一个不小心，进了监牢。除了同情，还有谁会去帮助他呢？“

甲说：”那总要有人，站出来啊！“

乙：”对。那些肯站出来的，我们打从心底佩服，给予我们能够给的支持。但是，不做国家斗士的，我们也不能责怪。“

甲：”为什么不能责怪？国家是大家的。“

乙：”很简单，你，做不做？讲道理是没用的。“

甲低下头，一句话也说不出。

偶然，看到一位清道夫，在街上扫地。

甲说：”这些人，浪费资源。有些还是学院生。给外国人看到，不懂有多羞耻。“

后来，有位游客经过，拍拍那清道夫的肩膀：”You have done a great job. You keep the street clean."

乙补上：“贡献，再小，也是贡献；道理再大，也只是道理。”

甲安静。点头。

甲与乙的对话-帮助

乙问：“喂，看那在街道上拿着罐子的老先生。多么可怜。要给他少许的钱吗？”

甲说：“算了吧。或许有集团在背后操纵。别浪费你的同情心。”

乙说：“我觉得多少也给他吧。我又没什么损失。至少，我的同情心，也值得那几分钱。就算被利用了，也是那几分钱。”

甲没有说什么。然后，雨水，倾盆而下。

一个小孩，走上前去，手上拿着雨伞，为那老先生遮风挡雨，一句话也没说，还满脸笑容。

甲与乙安静，点头。

甲与乙的对话-笼子里的鸟

甲问：”你说，在笼子里的鸟，还是自由飞翔的鸟比较好？“

乙答：”其实，也没有什么好不好的。你把它们想成是你自己，就可以了。“

甲问：”怎么说呢？“

乙说：”为了所谓的未来，你每天都在啃书。吃前啃，吃后也啃；睡觉前读，睡醒后也读。结果，你眼巴巴看着外面的朋友在嬉戏中，满是羡慕。你说，我是只在笼子里的鸟。没有自由。”

乙继续：”然后有一天，那自由翱翔的鸟，得到了自由，生活却潦倒，每天都在烦。而你，有着舒适的生活，想去哪里就哪里。非常自由。没有框子，就好比没有规划。”

甲安静。点头。

甲与乙的对话-做梦与做事

甲问：“你说，做梦还是做事比较实际？”

乙答：“什么是实际？”

甲答：“就是能帮到你生活的。”

乙答：“嗯。如果只是做事，那你和牛与马有什么分别？如果只是做梦，那你和乞丐、赌鬼、酒鬼有什么分别？”

甲安静。点头。

真善美

有时候，老人家说的话，也不是没有道理的。

不听老人言，吃亏在眼前。这句话，到有必要时，也要听进去。

举个例子-“真善美”。

读者们，你们有想过，为何那次序是如此，而不是美真善，抑或是其他排列方式吗？

就是要去了解真相，那最真实，最不想面对；最虚伪，最不好意思的真相。然后，心存善意，以一个善良的心思去包容和祈求。

最后，相信美好未来，相信美丽，相信人与人之间，那最可贵的美德。

若倒转回来念，“美善真”，就是，

那太天真的相信，那太过善良的心意，遇到最为可怕的真实后，崩溃之余，所有信仰也在一夜之间，化为乌有。

因为看了一些太过乐观的想法，所以有所感触。

有时候，以现实的眼角看世界，不仅保护了自己，也能够好好地展望未来。因为你认清了那最恐怖的真相，你才知道如何去创造美好。

Tell me when you need me- A Sceptical Patriotism

It was not until lately that I realise there are actually many young, budding patriots existing in our society. Some are my friends, some are acquaintances, and some are just strangers. But they all carry the same hearts, the same thoughts and the same mission to contribute and to save our beloved nation.

We, the 20-year-olds, have come to an important juncture in our lives. Either we are highly educated or we aren’t; either we are doing great in lives or we aren’t, we all share the same responsibility and the same task — we have to play a part in nation-building, sooner or later.

Or, at least these are what we have been told all this while.

What appears to me is otherwise.

The government has no intention to take you in. They will forbid you, rather than giving you the chance to contribute towards the progress and advancement of the nation. Of course, people will say, things have changed. We have the Economic Transformation Programme (ETP) and Talentcorp. The government is now ready to bring back the talents who have reluctantly bid goodbye to their homeland, which has forsaken them long time ago. Our leaders are serious in transforming our country.

And yet we hear some radical racists and disrespectful remarks are made, from time to time. The mind and the body do not move at the same pace. We boast to the world about our multiracial and multicultural heritage, yet every race is singing a different tune.

I still remember when I was 17, I was a young writer and full of ambitious ideas for the country. I penned the dissatisfaction and the anger on newspapers like Sinchew Daily and Malaysiakini. It used to be my dream to voice out through the power of words. From here as well, I have made friends with many people with the same aim and the same hope.

What we want is just a better future for the country.

And it wasn’t long that I realised, voicing out through words, is a dangerous act in the country. As quoted by a famous columnist, “Being a journalist in Malaysia is like being a performer in the circus, who is walking on a tightrope. If you are not careful enough, you will fall into pieces.”

Soon, I heard about the empowerment of the youth. I took part in Malaysian Student Leaders Summit (MSLS) and met many like-minded people around my age. From that event, I knew there are many out there who still decide to give our country a chance. And thus, the burning passion reignites. I interacted with the students around, exchanging ideas on how to help our country, as well as involving myself in some inspiring discourses. This brought me to join the United Kingdom and Eire Council of Malaysian Students (UKEC) in London.

We invited prominent speakers to discuss recent happenings in the country. We have held activities to raise political awareness among the students. We believe that no matter how little the significance of our efforts, we have achieved something at least — to plant the seeds of hope in the younger generation.

The positive things are done, but what are the changes?

Many may comment, we are paving the way for the next generation if we couldn’t make it this time. The effect will manifest itself in a subtle way. But after so many years, what we can observe is that we have been doing so much, but the leaders are not listening.

When the students are not going back to serve the country, we scold them because they are selfish and they betray the trust given by the taxpayers. How is it that, by pursuing self-improvement is a bad thing? Many will argue that the country needs the talents right now, to drive the nation forward. However, when we take a look carefully, famous figures like Professor Dr Danny Quah and KS Pua, the first USB flash drive inventor, if they did not leave the country and move on to pursue better lives for themselves, how can they possess the skills that our nation needs for development right now?

Plus, how much are they worth in the government’s eyes? This is an important point to ponder as well.

The age-old proverb says, “If you can’t beat them, join them”. Many political veterans, I believe, when they entered the political arena back then, had great ideas and strong spirit. Nevertheless, judging from the situation right now, many have joined the crippled system. How sure are we, that we can beat them? And when we think about Beng Hock’s sacrifice, how many of us are still so firm in changing the current system, by exchanging our families, our friends and most importantly our lives?

After so many years, we are still fighting for our rights, we are still debating about racial issues and we are still quarrelling on religious matters; a vicious cycle that we have had enough.

This is not a post to whine and to complain about the situation in the country, or to extinguish the passion and the courage put forward by the young Malaysians out there. It is just a friendly reminder for the younger generation out there, including myself, to sit down and think seriously, how can we help our nation, when all else has failed?

Not just with passion and ambition, but with real skills and actions.

Enough of optimism. Be realistic.

So, Malaysia, tell me when you are ready.

Tell me when you need me. I will definitely be back in time.

Published on the 9th of May 2011. @ The Malaysia Insider.

Link: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/breakingviews/article/tell-me-when-you-need-me-a-sceptical-patriotism-peter-phang/

大选前夕的心态

到了国外，交到了一些新加坡朋友，也就因此，感受到新加坡大选的气氛。自从308大选后，然后再加上获得某政府机构的奖学金，答应自己要遵守信条和诺言，不理会政治的事情。

可是，在大家高谈阔论当中，似乎看见了自己以前，那血气方刚的少年。

反风大吹，看来连隔壁的岛国，也泛起了一股 “倒李”的气势。

因为李光耀的一句，不投PAP，新加坡人民将后悔5年。话说得那么绝，看起来，反对的浪潮，也让开国工臣，老羞成怒了。

这句话，非但没有凑效，反之，还让反对党得逞。这句话，惹怒了某些新加坡人，而愿意投反对票。

理由很简单。因为反对而反对。因为要发泄而反对。因为要改变而反对。荒唐之余，也非常幼稚。

他们，也许看漏了一点。新国的政府，和我国的政府，在执行能力方面，南轩北侧。

当你要改变，照常理来说，是从不好到好。可是，如果那东西是好的，你又要改变去什么呢？

听友人说，在朝当中，有位很能干的部长，George Yeo. 不仅为人正直，办事能力，也绝不输人。可是，却面对一个非常强的对手。

改变声浪在即，新国人民，真的需要善用手中的那一票。

思想成熟，却也变得更难去相信。怀疑的心态，抹杀了那股洒血般的热情。

看着最近许多朋友都陆续刊登爱国宣言，也不禁想，我也曾经利用文笔，为友人与自己争取奖学金。

也利用过文笔，批判政府。刊登后，受了稿费。一场激情过后，就像青楼的女子般，奉献了却被人视为糟蹋后的脏物，什么也没有留下。

是现实改变了那为国请命的年轻思维？还是，道德课里的爱国情操，从来都不曾存在过？

幸福童话

你相信童话吗？

今天，竟然，在现实里，看见童话。

一个飞上枝头变凤凰，不爱江山爱美人的圆满绝局，得到了全世界的祝福与爱戴。

原以为，在家里看看网上直播就好。没想到，在现场看，那感觉，就像花儿飘落，浪漫情怀涌心头。满城洋溢着幸福的气氛。

目睹了太多的市侩，太多的真实，太多的虚伪，心灵，似乎偷望到，那最后一丝的相信。

当你看见Kate Middleton 坐在马车上，微笑着挥手时，好像遇到一个妙龄少女，因为没有怀疑过《灰姑娘》，而最终坐上了南瓜车，穿上了玻璃鞋。

当你看见Prince William坐在马车上，偶尔害羞，偶尔大方地招一招手，又似乎遇到了一个少了份王族骄纵的大男孩，因为相信爱情里的童话，而最终夺得美人归。

一个再也普通不过的星期五早晨，今天，变得特别不一样。

望见，一大群的百姓，挤破头也要去见证这场世纪大婚礼，好像看到，大家心中，散发出那仍然相信美好和奇迹的童真。

我们是否记起了那份纯真？

我们是否记起了那个真挚？

我们是否记起了那场感动？

很多时候，每隔一段时间，我们都需要这些童话式的故事上演。不是逃避现实，而是还现实，一份犹存的信仰。

那躲在心坎处，一个依旧爱上美丽，爱上幸福，爱上童话的信仰。

离开白金汉宫(Buckingham Palace)的那一刻，若隐若现中，看到了米奇老鼠和唐老鸭(Mickey Mouse and Donald's Duck) 手舞足蹈地欢呼。

一个迪斯尼式的童话，造就了一段郎才女貌的佳话。

梦幻的结局，亦是甜蜜的开始。

现在的你，相信童话了吗？

挪威之旅-感想篇

询众要求，就撰写一下，一篇华文的挪威感想录。=p

一个北欧国家，人烟稀少，却隐藏着诸多宝藏。这一次的背包旅行，不仅开了眼界，也拓了胸怀。

原以为，长达7小时的火车，和8小时的巴士，会浪费许多时间，而无法走遍挪威。可是，往往有时候，意想不到的事情会发生。

在来回30个小时的行程里，我看见了挪威最美的一面。有急流，有小溪，有杉树，也有雪山。梦幻似的景色，尽收眼底。

所以说，塞翁失马，焉知非福。这句话，恰恰应了这一次的旅行。

外国人有一句，“The best thing in life is free”。那些山水画，那些文化，和那里的历史，就像漫画里的神话，慢慢的平静你的心，同时却也让你感到惊心动魄。

一个人的行走，免不了多了丝孤寂。夜色降临，只剩下街上那橙色的灯，照着那落寞的背影。但，却也有机会遇到很多你没想过会遇到的旅者。

有些，为了梦想，不惜千山万水，走到这里；有些，为了完成自己的学业；有些则，为了履行对家人的承诺。

大家，在背包旅者宿舍里，就好比小小的泡泡，碰撞间，分享了你我的心路旅程，然后隔天早上，大家又继续赶路了。短暂了些，却也灿烂。

这一次的背包旅行，不仅开了眼界，也拓了胸怀。

谈到梦想，看见人家活出自己，心里满是羡慕。

深沉的想一想，打个比喻，为什么我们需要足够的睡眠？那是因为，我们需要足够的发梦时间，来抒发一天的烦恼。

在现实里的我们，没有梦想，摘周星驰的一句话，就和一条咸鱼没有分别。有了梦想，才不会被现实里的市侩和虚伪所吞噬。

有如图画里的美景，有时候，要远眺，风景才会美丽。太多的眼前和短期的利益，会造成近视。

爱上挪威，不仅仅是那景色，也是因为她给予的视野，才发现，我是一个爱说故事的旅者。

摄于@Bergen, Norway

Re-define breathtaking

This time, it all started with a bus journey.

The 8-hour bus trip was very bored and tiring, and i took back my words when I witnessed the beauty of the fjords, the valleys and the rapids. I passed by two fjords, on the way to the youth hostel, which is located at the world most beautiful fjord, (at least recognized by the UNESCO World Heritage Site la).

The Geiranger Fjord.

Sognefjord, the longest and deepest in Norway, is such an amazing gift crafted by the Almighty. I have to take a 20minutes ferry, passing by some of the small villages around. Plus as I moved up north, I arrived at the Nordfjord as well. Nord-it means North in Norwegian language. Stunningly beautiful!

Photographed @Nordfjord, Norway.

As I was getting closer to the Geiranger Fjord, it seemed like I was entering the world of Narnia. The quiet town, with only at most 5 cottages around; the pine trees and of course the gigantic mountain ranges.

At last, I arrived at Hellesylt, the small town with no more than 620 people, surrounded by icy and snowy mountains, as well as the scary waterfalls. I was rather disappointed as I got to know that the ferry service to the heart of the Geiranger fjord will only be starting on the 1st of May.

However, unexpected things occurred. The hostel owner, who is a German, decided to bring me to a spot where I can see the Geiranger from afar. On the way, we shared our stories, like how I came over to London all the way from Malaysia, and he told me about him being a chef in Bangalore, India, as well as a data processing clerk in Germany.

Finally, we reached the nicest spot. And, I was like a 5-year-old kid, jumping and yipee-yeye-yipee-yipee-ye-ing around. I couldn't believe the great and magnificent view displayed in front of me. I was totally in awe of it.

I couldn't thank him enough for driving me towards that place. It wasn't his duty anyway. But, he just said one thing.

I was there once. I was young before.

He then closed his palms and wished me Namestei, a Nepalese greeting which means "I appreciate the God in you". A great Samaritan indeed.

Then the next morning, at the youth hostel, I met up with a pair of couples from Belgium. Both of them are avid photographers. They even use the camera from the 50s and 60s, which needs to use a black cloth to cover and wash the negatives in the dark room. The girl drove all the way up from Brussels, to Copenhagen and then to Stockholm. From there she took a ferry to Norway and drove all the way to Geiranger.

I was so impressed with the passions they have. But they said that,

One nice picture is the greatest reward for our trip.

Wise words indeed.

I also met up with a German girl with her family. She is under the Erasmus exchange programme, from a university in Germany to Norway. We also shared some of our stories as well. Not forgetting about the Dutch high school leaver, who knows 6 languages, on a backpacking trip to travel in Norway, because she is going to work in one of the hotels in Norway soon. She told me about the psychology disorder-Oedipus Complex.

================================================================

As the trip was coming to an end, I did some self-reflections. When we see people who actually take some timeouts in their life to pursue their passions, we get inspired. But why are we still doing the same mundane jobs and keep complaining, yet we don't dare to take a step out from the vicious cycle.

To live your life, is the easiest, yet the hardest thing to do at the same time.

When we are going for a better self, don't forget about the true self that resides in your soul and mind.

Photographed @Geiranger Fjord, Norway.

Memento of Norway 2

It all started in the train.

The Oslo-Bergen railway is arguably the most beautiful train journey in the world. It passes through different altitudes of the mountain ranges. It even reaches about 1222m above sea level, the highest point of the railway system, Finse. The gradual changes of the scenery outside the window gives an inexplicable satisfaction and amazement, to a city guy like me.

The lakes, the cottages, the fjords and the snow. Oh, and the rapids. They are like the most wonderful receptionists of Norway, welcoming the tourists to the unpolluted and untouched nature.

A 7 hours train journey photographed those nature sites into an eternal memory.

And, to a person who loves to try out local delicacies, it's quite surprising that the youth hostel actually serves herrings and salmons, with 4 types of dressings for you to choose. Mustard, Tomato Salsa, Sour Juice and Caviar.(Caviar, peeps!)

Not forgetting also the self-made yoghurt, tasted like a light strawberry milkshake; and the scrumptious brown cheese+ strawberry jam. Suffice to say all these made a good start for my first morning in the town of Bergen.

The tour around Bergen gives you a sense of venturing into the hidden countryside town. I just couldn't find the right vocabulary to describe the quaint and unique houses on the hillside, as well as the small and quiet lanes around. They are just, so different from what I have seen before in my life. And, the unbelievably weird structures of Bryggen, actually makes me wonder how can such building be ever built?

Plus, looking at the magnificent view of the Bergen town from the top of Mt. Floyen just feel like you have just conquered the small town. At the peak of 322m, I met a father and a son from Denmark, and it was quite a shock that he knew about the Petronas Twin Tower and Malaysia.

We had a great time sharing some of our stories.

He is a seaman. It is now during the Easter weekend, so he brings his son, Alexander to visit Norway, by taking a ferry from Denmark for about 18hours.

Isn't this is like some of the English stories we read when we were young? A sailor who travels to many parts of the world, tells his son about the stunning things that he has been through. I was glad to meet up with him, and we promised that if we ever meet again, we will have Danish pastry and hot chocolate together.

Never knew it was so random and interesting. Before he left, he told me that there are many places in the world which are worth a visit. Remember, if you want something more, you gotta spend more time on it. Such a simple sentence, but with a deep meaning. A wise man indeed.

An instinctive decision to take the cable car up the hill has brought me to such a brief conversation. Life is all about taking calculated risk, and no turning back.

Photographed @Late Evening at Bergen

==========================================================

And now, we are heading to the Fjords! :)

Memento of Norway 1

"Unexpected things do happen in life. Deal with them and you will see them manifest in a miraculously beautiful way"

I have never tried to go on a solo trip, and this time i was so attracted by the amazing view of the fjords in Norway on the internet, and thus made a spontaneous decision to go up north. It turns out to be an unforgettably exciting trip.

There aren't many people around, as the population is quite scattered. The first person I talked to is a Norwegian old man in the train, asking him about the terminal and direction. And as we chatted, he said to me in a joking manner.

"Boy, you come at the wrong season. The snow has just melted, and the grass hasn't grown yet. So, you will only see the ugly brown lands around. "

He told me he worked for 10 years plus in Australia, as well as in South Africa, and now he is coming back to visit his family in Norway. And soon as we arrived at the terminal, we parted. He wished me good luck in exploring the beauty of Norway, and hoped that i will have a memorable trip.

Sometimes, it's this kind of random chat gives you the strength and warmth to keep your journey going.

Oslo is the capital of Norway, so the city lifestyle is pretty much the same, except that the Aker Brigge harbour is quite pretty, with the boats and cruises around, accompanied by the flock of seagulls, glowing in a soft golden colour during the twilight.

Touring around Oslo without paying a visit to The Scream is like you go to Penang, but not eating the char kuay teow. Edvard Munch painted 4 different versions in his lifetime, and I only got the chance to visit one. The Scream, portrays the deepest fear and dissatisfaction in his body, due to his sad and traumatic childhood and a rather pitiful time when he was old. He even got admitted into a mental hospital before.

Life is about give and take. It's the unbearably painful experience which contributes to his exceptional talents in painting and poems-writing. There's no easy way out to be successful. As I was writing this, the deafening scream seems to transcend across the time and space, to release the heart-wrenching moments in his life.

Photographed @Aker Brigge Harbour

=============================================================

That's pretty much about Oslo. And, now i will take u guys to the next destination, Bergen.

若有所思

如果，我们看见一个人，就为他打分，有时候未免太过鲁莽了。

有时候，宁可相信一个人会有善良的一面，也不要直接相信他的所作所为。这样，你就会有多一点的包容，多一点的体谅；少一点的苛刻，和少一点的批评。

冷眼观世界，在某程度上，保护了自己，却也拒绝了美好。

我们是否，应该去了解社会的现实，然后把自己武装起来？抑或是，宁愿自己受伤害，相信童话，从而感染他人呢？

这点，值得思索。

春季的冬天

碰到考试季节的春季，唯有自叹倒霉。

你就像住在一片玻璃屋里，远远眺望着花丛中的娇艳。温暖的阳光，却让心里更为寒冷。

当你读到一个阶段时，你开始有了幻觉。幻想着，那漂亮的蝴蝶，会来陪伴你温习那些生硬难懂的电机学；

偶尔，也想着自己在悬崖上，挣扎着游戏人间，与埋头苦读的瞬间。

就如叮当的《一半》里所说，“快乐只剩一人分享，快乐就只剩一半。”，稍微修改些，就变成了，“痛苦有大家分担，痛苦就只剩一半。”

毕竟，又不是你一个人有考试。但是，身为大二生，也该习惯这些了吧！

祝大家考试顺利！:)

脚踏车的心情

那时候，是平静的。至少，心里面是这样。

从来没有走过那段路，可是碍于好奇心的驱使，就尽管试一试。Embassy Road， 在晚上是特别的暗。

有时候会不小心踏进去小坑，有时候会看不见小树枝，但也庆幸那脚踏车上有个小灯，微微照着前方的路。

踏着踏着，开始想到，这不也是像我们的梦想吗？

我们只知道，我们要什么，却不知道如何得到。或者，更多的时候，我们也不知道自己要什么。但是，时间与生命，并不允许，我们往后退。

我们，开始彷徨。于是，我们，开始探索。

而，探索的过程，往往不是完美的。

最重要的是，我们的坚持，我们的年少，我们的信仰，就像脚踏车前面的小灯，微微照着，未来的不可知。

再见，回忆。

今后，不再回头了。

回忆，就让它沉淀。曾经不停地挖掘，得到的，是在同一个伤口，划上新的疤痕。

每每回首，也都看不见。原来，记忆里，只剩下那美好的海市蜃楼。

徒留虚假的真实，也不过是一场梦。

是时候放下包袱，迈进向前了。

再见，回忆。

Food for thoughts 1

Antipasti 1:

We are more connected than ever before, with the advancement in telecommunications, except with the person/people who is/are sitting right beside you.

Isn't this a pathetic paradox that we are facing right now?

Antipasti 2:

We are currently living in a world with too much lighting. It's a contradicting remark to be made, since at the break of dawn of human civilization, to produce and preserve light have been the most difficult things to do, until Thomas Edison came up.

Darkness and Light both coexist to define the dimensions around us and to create a space for "ambient luminescence"-finding light in the surroundings.

How can we preserve darkness?

Inspirations from small little things.

A cliche quote flashes through, when I try to pen down my thoughts.

"Life is like a box of chocolate. You never know what you will get next."

After the stressful Humanities exam, I was so relieved that I just had this random decision: Take a mp3 player, a debit card and student ID, a Mars bars, with a phone and a camera, ride on the Barclays Cycle Hire bike.

A random action, brings in unexpected thoughts and experience.

You try to cycle as far as possible, yet try to keep each cycling cycle to be within 30mins, because it's free. After that first 30mins, you will have to pay extra 1pound.

The toughest part is to cycle to places you have never been before, and try to find the docking platforms for the bike.

That's seriously a challenge. And actually when I think about it, it has been such a long time I never exercise properly.

Cycling gives you a sense of serenity with the presence of refreshing air, as well as an exhilarating experience in zooming past the cars and lorries on the road.

The second part is an unplanned visit to UCL Barlett School of Architecture.

For the first time, I think that engineering is part of architecture, and architecture is part of engineering. Both of them require each others to coexist.

For the first time, I heard about organic building and performative ecologies.

Amazing things happen when you least expect.

I think I begin to like what I have chosen. From time to time, I feel that as much as I choose EEE, the course chooses me as well.

Engineering in abstract dimensions.

Cool ideas occur when you let your mind soars free and runs wild.

夜曲

寂静的深夜，睡意渐浓，却更清晰地听见，回忆的呐喊。

翻来覆去的过去，在现在里，无法熟睡。

我想，越想弄清楚，越模糊。

等待黎明，期待曙光，不再害怕黑暗里的安静。

致世界的一封信

致：世界

在今年的春季，可被喻为“最动荡的花开”。

中东的起义，显示着社会的思维已慢慢发展，了解到一个民主的国家，会带来繁荣，开明，和自由，当然这些东西还未到来时，一定的人命必须要牺牲掉。

最重要的是，让我们看见了勇于改变的决心。 一个人，一个社团，一个民族，或是一个国家，最可怕的是那保守的理念，束缚了你的思想。不改变，就永远不会进步。

还有，就是关于日本的天灾。

台风，9.0级的地震，和可能发生的火山爆发，再加上核能厂的爆炸事件，已经几乎把整个日本打垮了。

可是，日本人依旧在拼搏。那永不言弃的精神，让人钦佩之余，也让大家了解到，在二战时期经历了两次的原子弹轰炸的日本，在短短60 多年的时间，科技和生活水平的提升，不是没有道理的。

在这次的天灾里，最让人佩服地五体投地的是，“福岛50”。

明明知道会被高浓度的辐射量害死，他们依然披上战甲，努力去用海水冷却那些还在沸腾的核能芯。

据说，其中一位“福岛50”的成员，送了一封简讯给了他的妻子。

“我不会来了”。短短几个字，却包含了他为国牺牲的决心，和对他妻子的深爱。在这个时期，让我们看见了人世间，是还有温暖的。

义无反顾，不顾一切的去拯救国家，是一个异常沉重的使命。他们，不是军人，不是特种部队；他们只是核能厂的员工，只是有个家庭必须承担的小市民。

但是，却拥有超乎常人的胆量，爱国精神，和使命感。

有批评指出，这次的日本天灾，是对日本人二战所种下的祸根。物理循环的道理。甚至，有中国网民还嘲笑日本人的遭遇。

我想说的是，历史里，日本的确占领了整个亚洲。在中国最为熟知的是七七卢沟桥事件和南京大屠杀， 身为华人，当然这些无法原谅。当他们侵占大马时，也干下了许多令人发指的事件。

可是，那是人为的，这次的是天灾。我们是不是应该撇开国籍的分别，民族的分别，和理念的分别，一起协助日本人度过这段非常时期。

有时候，历史的包袱，太过沉重了。毕竟，杀死你祖父的，也不是在这灾难里死去的人。

这灾难，让我们抛开成见，也让我们学到应该从多角度去看待一件事情。

就如狄肯斯（Charles Dickens)所讲的，“这是一个最坏的时期，也是最好的时期"。(This is the worst of time, this is the best of time.)

凄美的唯美

很多时候，当我们读到、听到 或看到凄美的事，我们都会不禁落泪。感伤的词、温柔的曲子，勾勒出内心最深处的感觉，而感动了自己。

凄美，往往都伴随着遗憾，追悔。因为错过了，所以美丽；因为不想忘记，所以永恒。

但是，为什么我们对为唯美，却抱着怀疑的心态？

我们，把简单复杂化，甚至扼杀那相信美好结局的念头。

我们咒骂那些放弃追寻美好的人，却把自己捆绑在回忆和感觉的牢狱里。

凄美，让人感动，却也带来了遗憾；唯美，让人幸福，却无法令人信服。

可悲的美好。

转化

最近，阳光普照，心情都特别好。大家都说，春天来了。

可是，那温度呢，却有点儿不太对劲。莫非东方人的鸟语花香，春暖花开，和西方人的春天有所不同？

来了英国那么多个月，那温度还在十度以下游走。讲话时，仍然在吐云吞雾。

是时候了。气候的转化，也象征着生活的转变；生活的转变，也表示着心情的变化。

deadlines 一个接一个的不请自来，想赶又赶不走。想了一想，还是埋头完成吧！

就像黑奴还没有遇到林肯，连出声的权利都没有。

现在的生活呢，可真象以下这句话了。

"Acting like a master, running like a hamster"

简单

深夜时分，在图书馆里无所事事。闷的当儿，写起部落格来。

突然之间，想起一位朋友在facebook status 上写着：

“小时候，幸福是件简单的事；长大后，简单是件幸福的事。”

字字珠玑。值得深思。

我们走得越远，要求的更高。要求得更高，越难满足自己。简单，自然就不会来了。

原来，简单那么复杂。

桌上的盒子

褐色的，娇小的，一个并不起眼的盒子。静静地躺在那里，仰望空气里的繁忙。

你在电脑面前，疑惑地打着字，瞟一瞟那盒子，然后又继续打字。

停顿的片刻，是眼睛的不知所措。到底，该不该看着那盒子，还是让自己喘不过气。

似乎很久没有移动过，忘了它待在那里已有一段时间。

原以为春天到了，没想到温度依旧在0与10之间徘徊。冷冻的空气，把声音里的关怀，收藏了起来。

那盒子，也许还会呆在那里，好一段时间。

回忆不痛

好像很久了。如果没人问起，看来，那将会被埋在心坎处。

望着窗口，傻傻地发呆着。嘴角笑着，痛在想起。

原来，我还没有忘记。只是，把它丢进箱子里罢了。

寒冷的天气，让自己更有理由挖掘回自己的回忆。

那心，撕裂地呐喊，给我一个理由忘记。

蓦然回首，似乎有段时间，没看见那熟悉的背影了。没想到，人面不知何处去，记忆仍停留在这一格。

其实，我现在才明白，回忆不痛，痛在想起。

Juncture of Confusion

Sometimes, you just get into a dilemma. A tough situation which you tend to follow what others are doing.

You forgot that you have a dream. A dream that brings you to where you are today, and will continue to fly you to the land, which you once imagined before.

You forgot that you are yourself.

When people talk about dreams, you become skeptical about it. You said that is impossible, that isn't the reality and that isn't the way things work.

You forgot to stop and stare.

And, one day, you realise, where is the you that have taken the road not taken?

Disney and Dreams!

Disney came to LSE today.

The talk is quite boring actually, since their main intention is to promote Disney corporation in the EMEA region. However, I love the way how the external communications guy conveys their message.

Enthusiastic. Cool. Funny.

There's one line which I find it quite memorable.

"There's no company in the world which you can speak about magics, family, and fairy tales, and the employer's eyes are beaming."

I have always been wondering about how's it feels like to be working in Disney. The ultimate combination of imagination, creativity and practical skills. In Disney, an engineer is given the most amazing name I have ever heard.

Disney Imagineer.

This reminds me one of the famous quotes by Walt Disney.

If you can dream it, you can do it.

笔下的感触

周末的旅行，的确让我重拾失去了许久的感触。

爱丁堡-一个充满文学艺术，也背负着血淋淋的历史故事的国度，让我见证了原来，最美好的，是会永存的，是等待别人来发掘的。

我有时在想，当我们被课业压得无法喘气时，出去走一走，不仅让身心得以平衡，也让思绪得以沉淀。

站在Arthur's Seat的高峰上，俯瞰大地，然后被那平静的夕阳感染着，整个人就似乎得到前所未有的解脱。哦，我指的是，灵魂上的解放。

你，多久没有看到夕阳了？

你，多久没有努力去攀爬高峰了？

你，多久没有让你的灵魂吸一口新鲜空气了？

或许，在好朋友的陪同下，在无尽的笑声中，在穿梭历史与现代的交接处时，我们才发现，我们其实要求一点也不多。

Untitled Thoughts

It's gonna be a long night
a long long journey
sitting down at the crossroad
contemplating the way after this

From this moment on
you begin to see
you begin to feel
you decide to be blind

shut the door up
thinking about the question
you finally
had the answer.

gone are the days
when you fly the kite
and your heart soars
like an airplane.

The eyes
facing the crowd
hiding the sorrow
and you
decide to go home

安静

沉默不语，有时候，是最好的方法，来面对多变的世界。

原来

原来，英国的夜空，是橙色的。万里无边，却看不见任何星星。

你会想，浪漫的夜空，被灯光照耀着，应该是美丽的，却因为过量，所以，抹煞了那温柔的晚上。原来，过了量，就等同于没有用。

曾经，把自己搁在自己的躯壳后面，失去方向的灵魂，留宿街头，拥抱着理想，独自面对那寒冷的夜。

原来，人家说，越靠近黎明的夜晚，越寒冷，是没有错的。

理想，有时候，可以很伟大，也可以很纯洁。通常，我们都会美化自己的梦，不容许有任何的瑕疵。但是，慢慢长大后，拉开那幕帘，看见现实的情况，你会开始怀疑当初的坚持。

原来，我们长大后，怀疑多过相信，是应该骄傲的成熟？抑或是应该遮盖的丑陋？

我曾经以为自己做对了一些决定，却不知道，那决定影响了别人对我的看法。鱼与熊掌，真的有时候无法兼得。

最近，想得太多了。是时候利用文字来发泄。

Subtle

He plans to rest his mind, at least for tonight, in peace.

He remembers that, a friend once told him, sometimes, it's not the big things in life that make you tired, it's the day-to-day routine that gets you worn-out.

And, yea indeed, he agrees. Sweet serendipity in life, is what he's wishing for.

And here, to end this meaningless ranting, share with you guys of what i think about writing, again.

Writing is like pulling a thread, deep down from your heart; subsequently drawing some subtle romantic wonders in between the lines.

Seriously, writing is a good reminder, at least for me, that I am living.

Ponder upon

Debating is a high level word-playing game, to manipulate your logical flows of thoughts.

Today, I have witnessed how fragile or valid an argument can be, and how interesting a question can be answered.

For instance, the engineering debate today at SAF building, there is a question which says something like this, :"Imperial students are inadequately prepared for high impact work".

Two panelists gave their arguments, but one defined high impact work as the financial stuff, the political influence and the economic regulation, whereas the other said that high impact work can also be something that 'bring an impact to the human beings'-such as being innovative in technology, bridging the gaps between different strata in a society.

In technical term, this is called 'mutually exclusive'. So, if both arguments do not cross-over, how are we going to debate?

However, I would like to give credit to this person who actually approaches this question from a different perspective.

"We shouldn't ask the students to give comments on this, since most of the students, if not all, choose engineering because they believe it such from the very beginning. It contains 'selection bias'. We ought to see this from a more general sense, that whether people who would like to do high impact work, will choose to study engineering in Imperial?"

Sometimes, it's not about the answer that matters. It's the approach and the perspective.

It has been quite a while since I have come across such interesting thought-provoking session. Probably that's the main reason why I keep a blog, why I choose Politics as my humanities option, and why I used to attend talks back in Malaysia.

To think out of the box, you have to be out of the box. You dont draw a square or a circle to limit yourself, if you want wild imaginations.

After this debate, I actually did some self-reflections on where do I want to go in life. I have always been keeping a dream, that is to use technology to influence the world, like how KS Pua did, a brilliant Sekinchan guy who invented the USB flash drive.

Can dream and reality be together for once in my life?

That night

That night, I watched the fireworks, at the river bank.

That night, I felt how joyful and excited the Londoners were, with some hilarious body movements and shouts, from the people around me.

That night, I witnessed how London Eye was submerged in the sea of lights, hiding in the magnificent sparkles, smiling to the crowd.

You stood so near, yet so far. So close from feeling it, yet so far from understanding it.

I closed my eyes and prayed.

It was also that night, I silently made some new year wishes. And will those wishes fly to the bright, night sky and come true like the fireworks?

Happy New Year 2011!

Fireworks@London Eye