06 August 2013

回国后

四年后的故事,原来,早在四年前已经被命运编写了。那剧本,现在才呈现于眼前。

回国前,你告诉自己要重新适应,因为熟悉的一切,都已经变得陌生。回国后,结果你觉得,很多东西都没想象中改变得那么快。人也一样,地方也一样。陌生的,原来是你自己。

殊不知,当起了本国的外地人。暗地里,别人或许觉得你高傲,你也或许觉得别人卑微。什么都没变,只有你自己变得陌生罢了。

本国的外地人,这是一个所有浸过洋水的学生都向往的身份。否则,当年为何你嚷着要出去看世界?可是,站在这个平台上,那身份,又和你的所在地,显得格格不入。

别人看到你,觉得你既陌生,又熟悉。你看到别人,既熟悉,但陌生。

结果,唯一能做的是,寻找曾经在海外一起念书的朋友,或者和你拥有相同经验的人。在某种程度上,开通的思维,始终敌不过陌生的环境。

心理上,我们还是会惯性地去寻找有过类似经验的群众,以得到慰籍。

与其说被社会排斥,这是另类的自我放逐。你选择了一条开拓视野的路,翱翔世界,你已经成为真真实实的地球人 (global citizen)。放逐了自己,是时候调适一下,落脚于稳定的生活。

开始规划,开始看物资,开始看房子。

很多时候,在亲朋戚友的聚会上,你会很自然地说,我们在英国时,是怎样怎样的; 又或者说,你在外面是如何度过那四年的,世界是如何的大等等。

当你说完后,抬头一看,原来你已经回国了。

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Luminodreamer,

I am a Malaysian student who has completed A-Level study and would like to further my degree abroad, but financial constrain is holding me back as my parent are unable to afford the huge expenses when studying overseas. From your blog, you seem to be a jpa scholar at the UK pursuing an EE degree. May I know your experiences when applying for jpa schoalrship and interview? Do I have to be very active in extracurricular to secure it? How is it like to study EE at university? Will it be hard? What kind of job EE engineers do after graduation? What would be your advice to school leavers like me before entering university?

Thanks for your help!
From ch.

Anonymous said...

Hi Anonymous, this is Naqiu, his malaysian coursemate at EEE in the UK. i just wanna say EEE is sooo hard af! haha but that doesnt stop us from striving and eventually we graduated with a Masters degree! :)

regarding the scholarship, let Luminodreamer answer it better coz I am sponsored by TNB hehe

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