The Rainbow

Never thought of how fast 10 weeks could just pass like this. This is sorta like a relativity concept in between the actual time that has passed and the amount of time you thought it would take.

Yea, so the end. The end of the summer internship. On an eventful day back in Malaysia, a historical milestone for the country and for my own life journey.

Looking back, in hindsight, the journey has been a bitter-sweet and meaningful one. It was pretty tough at first. The environment was pretty uptight. Still vividly remember on the very first day of the orientation, I got told off because I went to the toilet and was 'late' to come in. (because the EMEA Chairman has got into the boardroom before me)

Plus, with all the business and programming training and developments during the first week, I was thinking that how am I going to get through these 10 weeks, given the limited knowledge and experience I had on the asset management industry and programming.

Besides, as interns, we were given a task to form a group of 7/8 people to participate in the Portfolio Management Challenge. Given a virtual fund size of GBP 1mil, we had to come up with an investment strategy to outperform an actual benchmark within this 10 weeks.

Back then, I wasn't even sure that equities = shares, and what index weightings and P/E ratio are.

Well, the rest is history, they said.

The sweetest victory is to turn a doubtful and scary beginning, to a high-octane climax, and to a thumbs-up ending. When you managed to present the fund in front of so many MDs, you know that the late night studies on equities research are definitely worthwhile.

The 10-week would have been more challenging and tougher if there weren't these bunch of interns who continuously cheering you up, and the guidance provided  by my line manage, mentor and buddy.

Not to forget my buddy's colleagues. I still remembered that night, on the 3rd of July, when one of them left his work on the desk and taught me about alpha, beta and the concept of outperformance, while he was actually rushing his task to send over to the US people. This was because the 4th of July is the Independence Day in US.  (Oh and the CFA notes as well!)

My buddy has been a great teacher. He taught me how we should really focus on the important things in life, to make career decisions. He didn't take up a very lucrative job in an investment bank in the States, but would rather come over to Europe to have a family with his current wife. He recalled his experience back in 2007/8, when Lehman Brothers collapsed, he was overlooking the building from the other side of the street. He saw the throngs of people rushing over to the bank to get their savings. At that moment, he knew that money is not everything. It can come and go anytime, and it's not really within your control.

"Money can only give you that much, what is more important is what can you do with the money?".

And to my line manager, if possible I would really like to give him a toast, over a pint of Becks, or maybe two. The cool lad who does kite-surfing and chess. Without his patience and trust, I wouldn't be able to study so many software development concepts in the team project, and completed a graphical user interface. He admired the efforts I put in and allowed me to put my own signature on that small chunks of codes. It'll be launched globally in San Francisco, London and Tokyo in weeks to come, when everything is ready to get into production.

There are two things that move me to tears. Firstly, when your team member actually sends you a private message to send his gratitude, an acknowledgement of the efforts that you have put in for the portfolio challenge, while what you have done is nothing greater than just 'keep trying and keep going'; and the second one is the review by your line manager.

"It's great to have you here, Peter".

It has been a great 10-week. It really is. I couldn't ask for more.

When lyrics are just not words

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold


- 'I won't give up', Jason Mraz


The subtle tune that sings out your moods, does not always have to be fast and loud; with a little bit of pauses in between, you feel relaxed and at peace with the surroundings.

While I am listening to this song, I couldn't help but wonder, what if Jason Mraz, Colbie Caillat, Lady Antebellum, Bruno Mars and Boyce Avenue get together, to make a song?

"It would be a disaster", my heart whispers. Yes, it will.

Less is more, I thought.

Plucking the feelings, the guitar in my heart; seems like an endless waltz with the imagination of tomorrow. Best things in life are free, and they are real.

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up


The wave, quietly washes down the memories of yesterday; but it brings you the beautiful seashell that you never expect.

You sail out to the ocean, with the seashell, and your jar of heart, hoping to reach the horizon, some days.

Hooligans in London

A truly memorable winter break, indeed.

The moment, for sure you will remember, till the end of your days. 

In a split second, the beautiful imagination crumbled. The bubble is lost in thin air.

Before you mourn the lost, you have to deal with it. 

There were not enough time for you to think about your lost. 

The angels, you once thought that they are the protectors of civilians, are in fact law-abidingly cruel creatures. 

Fate, is strange.

It came as nice and wonderful as a dream, and appeared as horrible and scary as a nightmare.

You came out from the building, 

looking up to the sky, 

telling yourself that it's over. 

The words are heavy. 

Because it's finally the time, where you have to admit that, your fight is over. 

People said that being defeated is optional, I would say this time, it's inevitable.

Fate, you win this time. Hands down. 

Digging the grave, to mourn the imagination of a lovely trip.

Planting the seeds of hope, to wish that it won't end as such. 

Twist and turn of fate, 

I sighed,

I wept, 

I was clueless.

冬天·旅行

初冬，雨。

今年的伦敦，进入冬天很久了，却还没有下雪。是有一点奇怪。

但是，天气依然寒冷。

学期已经结束了三天，等待的是冬季的旅行。一直以来，都很喜欢旅行，虽然很累，你却能看到很多网上，书上都描写不到的景色，心情，和思绪。

就好比，夏季时的布拉格(Prague)，那下过雨后，凌晨五点早上的日出；春季的挪威(Norway)，在400米高的山上，眺望着整个Bergen市镇(Travel in Norway)。

还有，夏季的罗马，在竞技场(Colosseum)里感受着2000年前，Gladiator的呐喊。

这一次的旅行，又会是怎么样的呢？

久逢感触

那些年錯過的大雨
那些年錯過的愛情
好想告訴妳 告訴妳我沒有忘記
那天晚上滿天星星
平行時空下的約定
再一次相遇我會緊緊抱著妳
緊緊抱著妳

-胡夏《那些年》

伦敦的夜空，在冷风的吹拂下，更显得落寞。房里的温暖，犹记得，好像很久没有写过文章了。生活上的轻松，却带来了更多的压迫。我开始明白，当野兽在山崖上咆哮时的感慨。那是因为它忍着寒冷，站在高处，却得不到月亮。

最美好的，原来还是心灵的探索。一步步地听着心的呼唤，隔着地理的距离，时间的捉迷藏，原来，平行时空是存在的。

这，就是当你在沙漠里，遇到绿洲时，嘴角微微上扬的那一刻。

迈入第三年，十一月尾段，很多东西都有了转变。朋友间的遇见，也充满了变数。拉远的，靠近的，总在擦肩碰触间发生。越来越像街边的路灯，白天时，你不觉得；到了夜晚时，你才可能发现，今夜的路灯灭了。

感触，在现在与未来徘徊。

Take-away from Silicon Valley Comes to UK

"Brave" is not how you feel about yourself, it's about what you have done and people feel about you. -Sarah, ex-employer from General Magic, California.

I randomly walked up to a middle-aged lady and had a chat with her, turned out to be she was once a student in the MIT Media Lab, and now the Vice President of Google HQ in California.

She mentioned to me about a tradition in Canada engineering school. An engineering graduate is given an iron ring. The ring is set to be a reminder to fellow young engineers, while embarking on a journey of becoming a professional engineer, always adhere by the morals and ethics of practices.

I always find this interesting. Random chat, random encounter, random facts, and when all these are mashed up together, they ignite random inspirations.

The whole event is set in a very dynamic tempo, as a student who is just starting to explore the world of entrepreneurship, this is really an eye-opener. You have venture capitalists talking about investing ideas with ambitious forecast; you also have entrepreneurs seeking for advices from the Silicon Valley chaps; angel investors who have funded more than 100 new start-ups.

A CEO of a start-up sat beside me. So, after a round of background checking, (where do you study, what course, when are you graduating etc), he started asking question.

#Conversation 1
Him: Any ideas want to start up what kinda business?
Me: Nothing in particular. Still finding inspiration
Him: What if I give you GBP 1mil, and a lab for you to do what you want. What kinda product you can give me?
Me: *Speechless*
Him: You see, the problem is we are lacked of idea. Not money.

#Conversation 2
Him: Are you expecting to complete your degree?
Me: Yea of course, in about 1.5 years time.
Him: Then we are not hiring you.
Me: Why so?
Him: We want people who are brave enough to go beyond college curriculum. We want people who have done something really great.

People there, are full of crazy ideas, illogical thoughts, random opinions, ambitious visions. At the dinner in London Science Museum, the organizers challenge us one thing- to create or invent something that can be put into the museum in 10years times. Only the best inventions towards mankind will be put inside.

I gulped. And, shiver was sent down my spine.

At that moment, I wasn't even sure what was running on my mind. It just went blank.

Quantifying the Quantity

The more we are running away from quantifying things in life, the closer we are to it.

The more we advocate that we are not going to be that academic anymore, and starting to look into extra-curricular activities, we begin to find the scoreboards.

The more we are asking people to do start-ups, the more we are doubting people ideas, if they dont have any failures under the belt.

The more we are encouraging people to be out of their comfort zones, the more we are finding methods to make things measurable.

We look down on exams, but we agree that it's the best way to distinguish the best from the good.

Even psychometric tests are being practiced like mid-term exams, so how do we claim that we are not quantifying things anymore?

秋天写作

好像很久没有进来这里了，突然想起，所以就进来写写东西。

回到这里，已经是第3年了。这里的一切，算不上一清二楚，却也蛮熟悉了。当初来这里的热情，不知道去了哪里。

或许，从另外一个角度看，热情，沉淀了，变得更喜欢，更会用心去看这里的一切。

功课量，明显的，减少了一大半。时间，却不怎么多出来。可能，我用在课外上的活动了吧。这样也好，毕竟，第3年了，是时候开始，自己掌控自己的时间。

有些朋友，会在今年毕业。时间过得真快，蓦然回首，好像还在KLIA里，穿着那套西装。懵懂的表情，生疏的面孔，却被回忆收藏起来了。

现在，每天都会经过这个伦敦最大的公园-hyde park。看着树叶，从青绿色变到橙黄色，你知道，原来，把握现在，最重要。

这一次，心灵上也起了变化。梦想，还在泡沫里，非常美好。

从香港大学(HKU)看大学自由与精神

近日，港大(HKU)学生因百年校庆，邀请了中共副总理李克强参加其典礼，而掀起了轩然大波，校园内外皆有学生示威。

因为，这关系到中国高官的到访，会否引起港大学术自由受到干预，遂而使到港大逐渐“大陆化”。事情严重到港大校长登报道歉，会继续保证学生的言论与思想自由。

大学的言论自由，和学术自由，曾经是古今中外，顶尖大学的学生，所捍卫的精神，可是，现在呢，却沦为思想上的产物，而没有实际价值的东西。

北京大学与清华大学，也曾经在中国的历史与文化里，扮演着重要的角色。身为国内最高学府，除了是获取知识与智慧的殿堂，现在，也在时代的进步中，向权威与金钱屈服了。

《大纪元》的评论员有提到，哈佛百年校庆，曾经拒绝里根(Ronald Reagan)总统的出席，直到后来的让步，让里根出席，却必须要服从大会的安排，包括没有特别礼待，名字跟随英文字母的排列等。

这拥有非常象征性的意义，因为，学术自由与精神，是高等学府最神圣的标志。哈佛大学的Veritas(真理); Imperial(知识是帝国的盾牌); Cambridge (我们追寻光与知识)， 包括所有美国常春藤(Ivy Leagues)，以及亚洲顶尖大学，都拥有类似的标语（motto）。

可是，是否顶尖大学就维护了这些传统？

看看Imperial，回到去，就已经是第3年了。我们除了告诉自己，它是大学排行榜上前十名的大学外，还剩什么？到底，这四年，我们除了告诉自己，这个学府的文凭会带给你无数的就业机会，又还有什么？

本地大学更不要谈，不排除大学里面还有学生仍追求着思想与学术自由，但是，以现在的情势来看，本地大专，除了沦为政党的宣传工具，还有维护种族主义的温床外，又还有什么呢？

画地自限，则会遮盖了部分视野；不画地自限，却带来失业。

在现今世界经济低迷，知识泛滥，创意有限，专业人士短缺的年代里，曾经震撼世界；曾经带领文化革命；曾经改写时代的大学，又如何定位呢？

叶子

走在路上，偶然看见片枯叶。风，徐徐的吹，把秋天的味道也吹过来了。

很快的，还有一个星期，就是回去英国的时候了。

离开了家里，叶子，随着梦想，继续飘。走过云层，那朦胧的感觉，好像在雾水里，看着你的笑容；越过山脉，也涉过海水，原来，梦想的路，是崎岖的。

岁月在流逝，老套了点，却越来越靠近。像呼吸的氧气，不留意，不代表不存在。

希望，却也衬托了叶子的飞翔。希望，就像你坐在飞机里，从窗外望出去，早晨里在云端里的日出。美丽，优雅，迷人。

也不知道为什么，突然，觉得叶脉，被人搜查一番，思绪非常杂乱；灵感，好像被人偷去了。所以写出来的文字，既有意思，又不知所云；既无意义，又若有所思。

在烈阳底下，视野，好像汗水般，被蒸发掉了。没有视野的文章，就如没有节拍的音乐。

叶子，躺在一望无际的草原上，看着那轮明月，开始想，在北大西洋(North Atlantic Ocean)的另一端，秋天，会否一样美丽？

闲情思考

最近，都闲在家里，没什么事干。得空就上上网，再不是就读读文章。学术性的也好，美丽的也读，什么杂文也都读一番，当着是用来过时间，同时也能充实自己。

再过多两个星期，就是回英国的日子了。所以，脑袋最近也不是很能够思考。

思绪飘来飘去，都是些很多没有关系的东西，拉拢在一起。有位智者说过，“我们常常思考未来，回顾往事，偏偏就没有把握现在。”

非常正确。智慧，比知识重要许多。

我时常说到，“严以律己，宽以待人”，不知不觉中，也把这句话当成自己人生的黄金定律。

告诉自己，千万不能够以别人的自由，成为你愿望的代价。因为在遇过的人事物当中，明白到，用心思考，比用脑思考，会谅解以及尊重别人。

就好像，《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》里说的一句话，人生里，不像考试，每一个问题，都会有解答。

有些问题，不是看看书本，背出来就找到答案。
有些问题，不是问问别人，就会有个标准答案。
有些问题，不是静静在那边想，就有个答案出来。

有些问题，需要时间的沉淀；像做科学实验，一步一步以信念去印证。拔苗助长，只会让那苗，死得更快。

我深呼吸，告诉自己，在等待的时间里，努力充实自己吧。

Rainy night at 2am

If I die young
bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
sink me in the river, at dawn
send me away with the words, of a love song

-"If I die young", The Band Perry

This song is beautifully sang. Randomly played on the radio, in the middle of a Saturday night.

A heavy rain has just stopped, in the midnight at a small town.

And, with the soft breeze touching your cheeks, reminding you of the sweet tranquility after a downpour.

Starry sky, of a dream that will never come after a sad cry from the clouds.

But, deep down in the veil of the dark, there will be a rainbow we couldnt see, on the other side of the world.

Every heart lies a cupid. Whispering the faith into the soul. A noble wish which transcends the space and time, sleeping soundly in the mind.

Just like a sailor, who sits by the London Bridge, after a long voyage, still keeping the dream of the America.

Rain in the fall, illuminates the sorrow of the night.

九月的记忆

九月七日，初秋，晴。

人家说，秋天是最令人惆怅的，因为树叶泛红，随风飘落。

路的两旁，橙黄色的思念，独步公园的静寂，构成一幅忧愁，但又美丽的水彩画。

还记得，十五岁那年，就开始立志要到海外留学。当时的年少，就没有什么复杂的念头，就知是要看世界，实践一下 “读万卷书，不如行万里路” 的真正意思。

小时候，很喜欢去书店，买一些叙述名人的故事书。就好像牛顿(Newton)，爱因斯坦(Einstein)，华盛顿(George Washington)，林肯(Lincoln)等名人的漫画。

就觉得，外国月亮，是否真的比较远，也比较圆？

那时候，读着剑桥，牛津，哈佛，耶鲁，麻省理工等学校，只觉得这些都是排行榜上，遥不可及的梦想。

七年的光景过去了，现在蓦然回首，原来一切，只要有意志力，就会有办法去靠近。置身在帝国理工学院(Imperial)，你突然明白到，原来有时候，梦想是可以达成的。

走过London Bridge时，你现在摸着的是实实在在的物体，而不是儿歌 "London Bridge is falling down"里的幻想。

犹记得两年前的九月，我穿着西装，在KLIA机场里，等待上飞机的那一刻，心中有许多无法言喻的感慨。

当初中五毕业后，得不到任何奖学金，直到我飞了13个小时，抵达London Heathrow机场，中间的那段经历，深深地烙印在我的脑海里。除了流泪，我真的也不知道如何去形容。

三年前的九月，我还在UCSI Cheras里，用着手推车(trolley)，把十多叠的A4纸张，从山下，推到山上。

为了一张推荐信(recommendation letter)，从芙蓉乘搭巴士到Pasar Seni，再搭LRT到Asia Jaya站。

回顾历史，才能明白现在和未来的路要怎么走。就如Apple的Steve Jobs所讲的,

"Life is about connecting the dots. You wont know it now, but you must believe in something: life, destiny, faith or belief, and continue to walk. One day, when you look back, the dots will be connected perfectly."

今年的九月，也非常感激幸运的眷顾，度过了一个很美好的夏季。

"Time and Will-power change a man. But, neither of these transforms a man. Only love does".

其实，九月，一点儿也不惆怅。它给你时间去沉淀你的思维，然后理清你的想法。

明年的九月，又会是一个怎样的心境呢？:)

原来·沉默

很久以前，开始写作时，我总以为，伤心时，写作能够给予安慰。

也一直以为，伤心是个澎湃的心情，像兴奋的心情般有活力的。

现在才知道，原来，伤心是个不爱说话的小精灵。它，也可以躲在快乐的背后，继续安静地欣赏这世界。

他知道，这即将来临的一年里，会是他人生里，一个微妙的变化。

逻辑告诉他，要学着麻痹，那绞痛着的内心。因为，他肩膀是必需给予那个她。

因为不舍，所以要更舍得。流着微笑里的泪，他明白了。

原来，伤心是沉默的。

英美教育之差

终于，在maxis的暑假工，也宣告结束了。真正的暑假，才刚刚开始。

恢复自由身的日子，真的会比较轻松。无忧无虑，世界在荧幕里。就算发着白日梦，也无需担心老板来叫醒你，或者害怕浪费时间。

感谢幸运女神的眷顾，妹妹有机会到美国去深造。但是，由于时间短促，再加上没有过往经验，做哥哥的，唯有协助她做做研究。

慢慢细读下，才发现，美国的学院，尤其是ivy leagues的大学，每一间都拥有悠久的历史，不为人知的故事，独特的学院气息和胆大的宏观。

就好像进去一座城堡，你知道，这是罗马时代的；这是希腊时代的。你是会知道的。

当我看回我自己的学校，Imperial College，中文译名：帝国理工学院。单看名字，就知道他有多豪华，多技术性，只可惜，人文气息，一点儿也没有。

那灵魂层面的认知，或许也真的停留在数字与考试中。

此外，在这个夏季里，因为Otak2的因缘际会下，认识了蛮多在美国就读的朋友。也看得出，在谈吐以及经历方面，也有少许的不一样。

看来，有些东西，的确需要向美国学习学习。

下雨的沉思

似乎很久了，没有试过如此心动。

平时，我都喜欢分析事物，再加上直觉和逻辑，理论一番。可是，这一次，我选择了相信我自己的心，那心里的感觉。

我从眼睛里，看见了那真挚的灵魂。就是那么朴实，那么真实。

没有经过时间洗礼的诺言，像是披上糖衣的谎言。这，我深深明白。

雨，倾盆而下，我向上天祷告。

愿美梦成真。

与月倾谈

偶然，听见了 《Talking to the Moon》这首歌。不断的播放，就像心里的感慨，慢慢地被释放出来，无法停止。

抬头仰望，原来，月亮是那么的美，却也那么的忧郁。

那忧郁的影子，折射在脸上，诉说着无尽的思念。我在想，会不会是嫦娥在上面，因长期思念后羿，所以把月亮也变成如此伤悲了。

不过，你也知道，历经过沧桑的月，是最了解你内心想表达的，想告诉的，想展现的。

寄情于月，成了你的嗜好。

Smiling Lines

A soul is most beautiful when it's covered with roses.

And, he smiles because the summer has been a sweet serendipity.

八月飘霜

今年的八月，特别美丽。

夏季的风，吹在脸上，洋溢着前所未有的芬芳。

可是，望着桌上的日历，点算着，原来只剩下约20多天的日子。莫非快乐的日子，真的那么快过？

昨晚，人在床上，思绪却不知道飘去哪儿。眼睛睁着，却什么也想不出。

平时的我，都会坦荡荡地说，这是人之常情。今天的我，突然变得胆小了，变得害怕。如何保护那快乐的时光？

因为真心，所以很担心；因为怕错过，所以小心翼翼。

炎热的八月，却变得像冬天那样，以寒冷的雪覆盖着温暖的心。

两种体会，一种写实

不知不觉中，在Maxis上班，也有约一个月了。现在被调去PDI(Product Development and Info Services)， 就靠近KLCC那里。

突然，有种想法：在一个崇拜西方，和拜金主义的社会里，究竟会培养出怎么样的公民？

在PDI里，有位在牛津(Oxford)大学里就读的外国学生，过来Maxis这里实习(Internship)，上班初期，就有所谓的induction programme，然后被委派做一些较为简单的真实project。

而我看见其他本地的学生，根本就没有所谓的induction programme。Project更不需要谈。在如此的趋势下，我们要如何告诉本地学生，其实论名气，论实力，都输给海外学生，要如何补救呢？

莫非本地学生，都真的没有用？这是政府落实的政策里，所冒现出来的败笔，并不是他们的错。当我们责怪他们不够努力，无法取得奖学金时，马上就会有另一把声音，告诉我们其实奖学金不需要给那么多啦，留他们在本地吧。

但是，大公司，是真的那么想吗？

实力与名气的悬殊那么大，将会带领我们去更危险的贫富悬殊。

此外，当我们的社会步伐越走越快，我们会不会不小心，在追逐名利的路上，遗失了容忍，忍耐的美德呢？

乘搭巴士时，有位印度老伯，因为走路不方便，所以特别的慢。巴士司机立即对他大喊大骂，告诉他还有很多乘客要下车。

这世界，到底变成怎样了呢？